A Decade Never to be Forgotten

Jethro D. Jones: All right, Connor,
welcome to a decade Never to be Forgotten.

I'm excited to have you here.

Thanks for taking the time.

And, uh, before we start, I think
it'd be good to just kind of explain

a little bit about where this
came from and, and what led to it.

in October 24, general conference,
uh, elder Stevenson gave a talk

called Days Never to Be Forgotten.

as he was sharing that, uh, that message,
I got this little prick in my heart that

said, you need to do something with this.

I was like, what does that mean,
And, uh, you've, you've gotten your

own personal revelation before and.

And felt things tell you to do things.

And probably people who
are listening have too.

And you don't always know what it
means, but you know, when, when that

feeling comes, then you gotta act.

And so, so that's what I did.

And, um, what we're doing here is
we're interviewing the same people

every year for the next 10 years
to see how they've made this,

their decade never to be forgotten.

And I'm grateful for you coming
on because, uh, we don't have

someone who is a recent college
graduate or close to that.

uh.

Which is you who, uh, you're
just finishing up at BYU.

And so, you've, you've been a center
for a BYU football team and, uh, a

remarkable career, which is awesome.

now, uh, you're right now in the
throes of preparing for the NFL.

So I wanna start by just
talking about what brought you

to this point in your life?

Where, did you plan on this?

Was this part of the plan
or did this just, happen?

Like, tell me about that.

Connor Pay: Yeah, I think, um.

My dad.

My dad played in the NFL.

Um, and so it, it is something that
has kind of been a part of our family.

And so once I got into high school
and got to the point where I was like,

okay, I'm getting college scholarships.

Like once, once you go to play division
one football, your ultimate goal is to

at least have a chance, um, at the NFL.

And it's, it's obviously very difficult.

You know, it's, uh, you're in,
you're in the 1% of the 1% if

you can, uh, make it to the NFL.

And so I, I feel really blessed
that I'm in a position where I,

I get a chance to, and hopefully
I can go and make the most of it.

But, um, yeah, it's, I mean, once,
once I got to BYU and, uh, was a

backup my red shirt season, um, in
2020, then once I earned a starting

spot as a red shirt freshman.

Which was kind of considerably younger
than some of the other players or

other starters in their careers.

You know, you typically, you don't get
to start until your junior or senior

year, maybe your sophomore year.

And so to be a red shirt freshman
starting, I was like, okay, I feel like,

you know, songs I keep playing well.

Like I, I could do something with this.

And so now here we are, four seasons
later, you know, started somewhere

north of 45 to 50 games at this point.

And it, it kind of became a reality
as I, as I played better and better

and started getting recruited
by agents and stuff like that.

Were like, okay, like
there my name is out there.

This could be a reality for me.

And so now here we are.

I'm in, uh, I'm in Atlanta, Georgia.

You know, it's staying in an Airbnb
in the suburbs of Atlanta for.

eight weeks while I'm at a
training facility down here,

getting prepared for Pro Day.

And it's, it's kind of surreal
that now I've, you know, I, I

graduated from BYU in December.

Um, you know that I'm a college
graduate now, and I'm, now, I'm,

I'm actually a professional athlete.

Like this is my occupation,
this is, this is my job.

And so it is kind of surreal.

Jethro D. Jones: So, you know, there's,
I, I've heard a lot of people talk

about, being an athlete is, a lot of
it is, is mental and that it's probably

more mental than it is physical.

So I want to talk about that, but
a lot of people don't talk about

spiritual part of it as well.

And one of the things we've seen with a
lot of the recent college football bowl

games are, are guys finishing and praising
Jesus after they finished and more of

that spirituality it, where it seemed like
that was not So much of the focus before.

So can you talk about what brought
you to this point and mentally?

And feel free to blur the lines on that.

And, you know, you don't have to like
totally separate it, but what is,

what has that spiritual and mental
process been like, getting to hear?

Because, you know, physically you've
got a, a dad who played in the NFL,

so you know, you've got some genes,
you've got the experience of that.

And so, talk about the mental
and spiritual aspect of it.

Connor Pay: I think, uh, well, I think as
I've gotten older, as I've grown closer

to the savior, those two things have kind
of become one and the same a little bit.

I try to involve him in, in every aspect.

Uh, and so, but I, I guess maybe just,
uh, a little background for maybe some

of the people who don't know, you know,
what you were referencing when they said

how mentally challenging this can be.

It's, uh, I guess just one example
is, you know, the, the turnaround

that it was coming to Atlanta.

Like, uh, my, my agent, I had told
the agency before the bowl game.

I'm like, Hey, when, when the bowl
game's over, I'm gonna sign with you

like, you're, you're who I'm going with.

Obviously, I couldn't actually
physically sign with them, um,

or else I'd lose my eligibility.

So it had to be done after the bowl game.

Um, but I let 'em know.

And they're like, okay, you
just focused on the bowl game.

We're gonna handle everything
else behind the scenes.

And, and nowadays facilities,
training facilities, uh, they

recruit you like agents do, which
is, which is kind of interesting.

So this facility velocity that I'm out
here in Georgia, which has been phenomenal

so far, they reached out to me almost
a year ago, maybe a little more than

a year ago, and just starting to build
the relationship and things like that.

And so you have multiple facilities
reaching out and so your, sometimes your

agent has a facility they really want you
to go to, and sometimes it's kinda like,

Hey, we, we have someones, we like, but
we also want to hear where you want to go.

And, you know, this facility was,
was one of my tops and I, and so I

said, here's my top three facilities
I want to go to, blah, blah, blah.

And then, you know, after the
bowl game, we get home and, uh.

That week we had a Zoom call with my
agent in this facility on a Wednesday,

and they're like, we were going
through dates of when my pro day was,

how the training would be structured.

And they're like, yeah, well, we want
you to get here as quick as you can.

And I was like, okay.

And we, we worked it out like,
we want you to start, you

know, can you leave tomorrow?

And she's like, yep, I guess I can.

And so I packed up and uh, you know, I
packed up my car and I drove to Atlanta

the next day, you know, having no idea
that that was gonna happen the day before.

And so that's, that could be a little
bit mentally challenging how all of a

sudden now, just in a blink of an eye,
I spent the night packing for eight

weeks and everything I need for training
and I'm on the road and I'm leaving.

And that's, that's a little bit
of like what the NFL lifestyle

is, you know, over the next uh uh.

Six or seven months of my life, it's gonna
be a drop in an interviewing with a team.

If they wanna bring me out for a visit,
bam, I get a phone call and I'm on

a plane that night or the next day.

And, you know, while that is exciting
and it's really fun, it can be, it could

be a little bit challenging where like
at any moment you're, you're all of a

sudden your, your life can totally change.

And once you actually get into
the NFL, it will get even worse.

Where, you know, if you get
cut from a team, you could

get, you can get fired any day.

Jethro D. Jones: Mm-hmm

Connor Pay: And if you do get
fired, another team could pick you

up and say, Hey, you, we want you.

And if you clear your waivers,
then bam, you're on a plane and

you're playing for a different team
a day and a half later, you know?

And so it's a little, it's a
little, it's taxing in, in that way,

Jethro D. Jones: Uh, or you could
not get picked up for a while

Connor Pay: right.

Jethro D. Jones: you could be out there
hanging out, waiting for someone to, to

pick you up when, when the deadline comes

Connor Pay: Totally.

You could be unemployed, no checks.

Jethro D. Jones: Yeah.

That's crazy.

Um, so, so talk more about what
you've done to prepare to be ready

for this mentally and spiritually
and, and how you got here and, and

what that actually looked like.

Like you've gotta be, gotta be prepared
to say, okay, I can do this, I can leave.

At the drop of a hat, you've gotta do some
prep work beforehand, and like have things

in order, have, have your life in order.

Talk a little bit about that.

I.

Connor Pay: Yeah, I think, no, there
was definitely a lot of preparation.

Knowing that this is what
my life was gonna be like.

You know, it's obviously having a
dad who's done it was really helpful.

He gotta just give you some
tips, be like, okay, this is,

this is what it's gonna be like.

And my dad played in the NFL for three
seasons for three different teams.

He got cut out of the blue three different
times, you know, and so he was, he

knows what that, uh, uh, lifestyle is
like, and he is like, look, your life's

gonna be a little volatile for these
next, uh, you know, six months or so.

And so I think I had a little
bit of an advantage in terms of,

I kind of knew it was coming.

Um, and, uh, but no, you definitely
have to be, get yourself into the head

space of being okay with that, where
it's like, and I don't, I don't want

to use the word that, you know, your
life is being upended, but it kind

of feels that way where it's like.

All of a sudden, before I even have time
to think about it, I'm in this place

that, you know, I'm living in a place
that I've, I've only visited before.

I've never stayed.

Um, my family's 2000 miles away, you know?

And, uh, it's, uh, it's a little
weird, you know, it's a little weird.

And it can be, it can be a little lonely
at first, but I think, um, one great

example when, when it, when the scriptures
talk about the commandment we're given

to gather together often, you know, and,
uh, you know, and, and those verses of

miah so that you can be numbered with
the, with the people of the church.

I, I went to church just a few hours
ago for the first time out here, and

that was one of the, one of those
moments where I was like, uh, I kind

of felt like I was at home again.

You know?

And just, just sitting in a sacrament
meeting, you know, preparing to take

the sacrament, going to elders quorum.

Obviously it was fun to
meet the ward members.

'cause I kind of told I'm gonna be an
honorary member of your ward for the

next , you know, eight weeks or whatever.

And, uh, you know, and obviously
a lot of 'em recognized me from

football and stuff like that.

So it was fun, it was
fun to chat with them.

But just, um, you know, that,
that commandment kind of rang true

for me a little bit today where
it's like, I was just thinking

about like, man, this is amazing.

No matter where I end up going, no matter
what ends up happening, I'm always gonna

have a family and a support system,
um, through the people of the church.

Right.

And then my, my brothers
and sisters in Christ.

And you know, I think on my own personal
faith journey, that's, that's what's

kept me in the boat, so to speak.

And, uh, I've, uh, I've been pretty
public about some of the, the

faith challenges that I've had.

Uh.

BYU does this series called
Deep Blue, where they kind of

dive deep into your stories.

I, I don't know if you were
familiar or saw mine, but they, they

were able to do one with for me.

Jethro D. Jones: Yeah.

Connor Pay: Yeah.

And yeah, go ahead.

Jethro D. Jones: of you haven't
always thought that church was the

place where you'd find that community
and peace, you went to church

because was what we do as pays.

That's, that's why you would go.

Connor Pay: Yeah.

Jethro D. Jones: now like you made it a
and, and I just wanna share like behind

the scenes, uh, you and I were texting
about setting this up and you're like,

um, I get in Sunday's probably gonna
be the only day I'm available to do it.

you gave yourself an hour after church
got out, uh, to, to be able to do this.

but like that was a priority.

It wasn't like, Hey, let me,
I'll skip church this week.

No, you were like planning on it.

And it wasn't a question, it was a,
I already know what time church is.

That's already part of the plan.

That's already part of what I
did to get ready to come out to

Atlanta was I found out what time
church is and I'm ready to go.

so like that idea of going from We
all go through faith journeys, right?

Going from a kid who's like, I'm
not even interested to serving a

mission, playing at BYU, and then
now you're like, this is, this is the

priority, and there's no question I,
I know I'm gonna find my people here.

That's, that's pretty amazing, right?

Connor Pay: Yeah, no, it
is, and it was not the way I

thought for a really long time.

You know, it was, uh, like, like you
said, it was, I, I went because my

family went and kind of the, over the
years as I thought more about it, the

kind of, the way I describe it, and I
think I described it this way in that

video, I don't remember, but is that
I was, I was physically active, but

I was spiritually inactive, you know?

And, uh, and that's how I
spent most of my teenage years.

Um, and uh, and I think, uh, and I
think that's a little bit, honestly,

uh, a little bit of a challenge
with the, with the Utah culture.

Uh, a little bit too.

You know, I think there's a lot
of, especially teenagers who are

physically active, they go to
church every Sunday, but spiritually

they're completely inactive.

Um, and I think that comes with
just like, oh, this is just

what everybody does, right?

Everybody around goes to
church, blah, blah, blah.

You know, it's, uh, it's
just what we do around here.

Um, but no, that, that community, and,
you know, that, uh, the guy I referenced

in the video, that youth advisor Chip
Taylor, he was, he was the one that

kind of got me, got me into it again,
and I noticed some things with him.

And, um, and then now obviously getting
in into the mission field and experiencing

all that for the first time and gaining
a, a, a true testimony, a personal

testimony of the, not only the gospel
of Jesus Christ as a whole, but also

the individual points of doctrine.

The church is founded upon.

That was, that's one thing that I, I, I
did as a missionary is when, before this

new version of Preached by Gospel was
released, or there's 40 now, but there

previously were 42 doctrinal points,
um, in the missionary lessons where

it's like, look, the brethren broke down
all the basic doctrines of the church,

and we believe in, they came up with 42
points and I took 42 days and I studied

and prayed and tried to gain a testimony
of every single one individually.

And, and when I did that, I did that over
a transfer in the, in the mission field.

I've, I, I, I was able to gain a
testimony of all of them, and I haven't,

I haven't had to look back since.

'cause now I have something that I can,
whenever I have questions or whenever

I don't understand something or I'm
challenged by something or, or there's

something that's, uh, bothering me or I
don't understand, I now have a backdrop.

A foundation I could go back to, um,
in any of those moments, uh, in any

of those challenges and which, you
know, one of those is right now, you

know, doing something that's, uh, you
know, a little outside your comfort

zone, showing up in a random city
with a bunch of guys I've never met

training to, to, you know, try to do
something extremely difficult and, uh,

Jethro D. Jones: And, and you're
all, you're all basically competing

against each other also, right?

Like, you're not, you're not there.

Like we're all gonna go do this together.

You're not a team like you were at BYU.

These are guys that you're gonna be

Connor Pay: yeah.

Jethro D. Jones: to head against.

Um, so, so that's, that's a reality.

Also, you, you mentioned something
that I think is really powerful.

You said that you were physically
active but not spiritually active.

And I wanna dive into that a little
bit more because one of the things

that's so important is for each person.

To gain their own testimony have
their own understanding of the

truthfulness the gospel of Jesus Christ.

And that doesn't seem important you're
a teenager and you're just going

'cause your parents are making you.

I feel like every single year that
becomes more and more important to me.

And so what would be your advice
to yourself or to another kid,

uh, in their teenage years?

How do they gain their own testimony for
themselves and why is that so important?

Connor Pay: I think, um,
you know, the, the, uh.

The outline has been set pretty clearly
on how you go and gain a, a testimony.

The, the most, the most repeated
promise in all of the standard works

by a mile is ask, and you shall
receive, you know, knock knocking.

It shall be open, done to you.

You know, if I remember, uh, uh, elder
Holland, I remember him teaching this

where he said, that's, that's repeated
more than any other scriptural promise.

All of the other ones combined,
you know, and then, then that

promise is still repeated more.

And so I think it's safe to assume
that God actually means that, you

know, a ask ask and you shall receive.

And I think that's, that's step number
one is you gotta ask questions, right?

Like questions of yourself,
you know, to discover what you

actually believe, and then go to
correct sources for information.

Scriptures, standard works,
words of the living prophets,

you know, the Gospel library.

You could read Gospel Library for the
rest of your life and not go through

everything that's on there, you know, and
it's, uh, um, and then there's, there's,

there's great historical sources too.

If, if, you know, there's things
about the restoration or church

history you don't understand.

You know, the Joseph Smith
Papers project was massive.

And, you know, I spent a lot of
time reading that kind of stuff.

And so you have to gather
information, but at the end of the

day, you have to take it to God.

And that's the only way
you're gonna gain a testimony.

Um, you know, we always, I remember as
a missionary where we are always told,

and my mission president always talked
to us about how you, your job is to

convince your job is not to convert.

Your job is to convince somebody
to try it for themselves.

That the Holy Ghost is the only.

Person capable of converting somebody
to the gospel of Jesus Christ.

And that's, and I think that's what
my advice would be, is to go and

study it out in your mind, like the,
like the doctrine at covenants teach

us, then go ask God if it's right.

And uh, you know, there's
a promise in that verse.

I think it's section 88, 84,
I can't remember, but, uh,

Jethro D. Jones: okay.

We're nobody's citing us here.

Somebody will find it.

It's all good.

Connor Pay: Yeah.

Um, and, uh, and so then he says
that, you know, he promises it'll

cause you bosom to burn within you.

And so I would say you have
to, you have to take it to God.

You have to do something to put
yourself in a position to have

experiences with the Holy Ghost, because
that, that's what I wasn't doing.

You can only, you can only rely on what
your parents are sharing with you or what

you hear other people say for so long.

That can all be helpful in creating
the positive environment you need for

the Holy Ghost to touch your heart.

But until you act on an individual
level and exercise your agency

to go and essentially challenge
God and say, is this correct?

You're never gonna, you're never gonna
have an understanding for yourself,

which is everyone's ultimate goal.

Right?

That was, that was the issue all
the way from the pre-existence.

Jethro D. Jones: Yeah, and And you
have to have that witness yourself,

your, parents having it is not gonna
do you as good as you having it.

It'll, it'll provide some support,
some foundation, but ultimately

when the hard things come,
then it's, can't rely on that.

And so, like, I wanna, I wanna
talk in that same vein, but a, a

little bit different, um, people
looking on the outside, your life

successful, good season with football.

You started, you had an injury in
there, but like, what, what has been

the challenge, the big challenges that
you've gone through this year, whether

they're physical, spiritual, or mental.

What are, what are the things
that you've gone through?

How have you overcome them and what
has helped you through and persevere.

Connor Pay: Um.

I think, you know, the biggest one had
to have been, uh, probably the injury.

Um, just because obviously football
has been the biggest, uh, you know,

part of my life for the last, uh,
uh, four and a half years or so.

I've dedicated most of my time to it.

Um, and, uh, I had never
been injured before.

Um, and I, I had little things here
and there, but nothing that had kept

me from playing and, you know, it was
harder than I thought it was going to be.

'cause you know, I just tried
to, I was like, you know what,

I'm gonna attack this head on.

Just immersed my, immersed myself
in almost kind of a coaching

role to help, uh, Bruce Mitchell,
my backup, get up to speed.

Who played phenomenal in those, those
four games that I was out And, um, uh.

I tried to immerse myself in that
and I was like, you know, the way I'm

gonna, that's, that's kind of how I,
uh, it was, it's kind of the same idea

of in the mission field, I think, uh,
the story of, uh, uh, Gordon b Hinkley

talking about when he was in the mission
field and feeling sorry for himself

and wanted to go home, and he got a
letter from his dad and all it said

was, forget yourself and go to work.

Like it was, I, I tried to do
like, kind of that method, right?

Like, okay, I'm not gonna, I'm gonna
attack my rehab, do everything the

trainers are saying and all that stuff.

It's like, but I'm gonna, I'm gonna
immerse myself in other people, you know?

'cause at the end of the day, that's where
I find the most joy and the most solace,

I think is when I'm helping others.

And so that's kind of
what I tried to dive into.

But, but that didn't change
how difficult it was.

It helped me get through it,
but it didn't lessen the pain.

Um, not only the physical pain, but also
when they, when they ran onto that field.

For that first drive of that game.

I think Arizona was the first game
where I was injured when I ran out for

that first drive to start the game.

I remember standing on the
sideline almo almost in tears.

'cause it was like, you know, it's
been, it's been over four years since

I haven't been out there doing that.

You know, like since I hadn't jogged out
there with the offense when they got out.

That was, that was harder for me
than I had anticipated it being.

Um,

Jethro D. Jones: what made that so hard?

Because you're on the sideline
when the defense is out.

Right?

And, and surely there was some time where
you came off 'cause your helmet came

off or something, but what made this so
different that you were like near tears?

Connor Pay: um,

I think there was a couple of reasons.

Uh, for one, I felt like I
was letting my teammates down.

You know, you put in all this work
all off season long and me as a, as a

captain of the team, you know, giving
a lot of speeches and, and trying to

hype the guys up and talking about
how I'm always gonna be there for 'em.

And it's like, you know, this is the
first time in my career where out on

the field I couldn't be there for them.

And, and, uh, you know, just, uh, yeah.

I think just that feeling of letting
the team down was, was really hard.

Jethro D. Jones: Okay.

Connor Pay: And then also, yeah, go ahead.

Yeah.

No, go ahead.

Jethro D. Jones: piece, but
like, why do you feel like

you're letting the team down?

You couldn't control getting injured.

You didn't get injured from some.

Mistake you made, at
least I don't think so,

Connor Pay: No.

Jethro D. Jones: caused
that to happen, right?

It was an accident, and yet you still
felt like you were letting people

down because you weren't there.

And, and the reason why I'm asking this
deeper is because everybody feels that in

some way, shape, or form, you know, just
wait till you have kids and then and then

you see your own weaknesses that manifest
in them, and it just breaks your heart.

Talk about letting people down so
you couldn't do anything about it.

You, you ha you couldn't
be in there playing.

And so why do you think that felt like
you were letting 'em down so much?

Tell me more about that.

Connor Pay: I think it's because
in a way, especially as a leader,

I felt responsible for them.

Jethro D. Jones: Mm-hmm

Connor Pay: You know, I felt, I felt
as a captain, I had a responsibility

for the performance of the entire team.

You know, that's what I was, that's
what I was voted by my peers to do.

Is to, uh, is to lead the team.

And, and I, it was, it was a growth moment
for me because I didn't know how to lead

the team in any other way, but by example.

And, and vocally obviously
too, on the field as well.

But I could always, I could always
be confident in what I was saying

as a leader, what I was challenging
my teammates to do, because

they know they could just watch
me and they'll watch me do it.

I'm not gonna ask 'em to do something
that I'm not willing to do myself.

And then for the first time, it's
like, I'm, I'm cha I'm yelling at

people and I'm challenging them
and I'm on a scooter, you know?

And it just, it, it just, it felt,
I had this like pit in my stomach

where it was like, man, you're at,
you're getting on this guy for doing

something you can't even do right now.

And, and, and, and I know I
shouldn't have been feeling that way.

'cause it's like, you
know, I had over 40 starts.

I had, I.

I knew I had already earned
the respect to my teammates,

like, and, and all that stuff.

And I, I don't, I think that was
less the issue, but just more the

fact that for the first time I
feel like I couldn't back it up.

You know?

I, I couldn't back up what I was saying
or what I was challenging them to do.

Jethro D. Jones: Yeah.

Connor Pay: Um, which, which was hard.

Jethro D. Jones: yeah, to this point
in your career, you'd never, never

had to not be able to back it up.

Right.

Connor Pay: Yeah.

I've never so much as missed a practice.

Jethro D. Jones: Yeah.

So for you to, to take some, some time
off and heal, you were like diving into

supporting them, but you couldn't support
them in the way that you knew how to do,

so you had to learn a new way to support

Connor Pay: Yeah.

Jethro D. Jones: And so, so how
did that change things you came

back where you could support them?

Did you just forget about that and
go back to now I can prove it again?

Or, or did that adjust anything?

Connor Pay: Um, yeah, I think
I had to, I had to learn how

to lead a little differently.

Um, you know, and in terms of, uh,
you know, like it's, uh, I, there's a

difference between leading on the field
and leading off of it, you know, and

it's, uh, kind of more of the leadership
role that a coach would normally take

on, you know, 'cause obviously they
can't be out there, so, you know, you

have to motivate in a different way,
you know, and, and, uh, I think that was

the, that was the biggest thing for me.

It was just kind of learning a few more
of those leadership characteristics,

which, you know, at the end of the
day was, it was a blessing, right?

'cause I then got to kind of
expand my leadership horizons.

Uh, a little bit and, and, uh, you know,
'cause that's eventually, you know,

when I, uh, business is what I studied,
that's what, that's what I want to go

do eventually in the business world.

I'm gonna be in some form of leadership
position where I'm gonna have to be

able to motivate an employee or someone
to do a job that I have never done

before or, or something like that.

Or I'm not physically doing at the
moment, you know, but you, but it's

still your job as a leader, you know,
to, to take care of that person.

And, and I think that's kind
of what I had to learn, like,

okay, what are some new tactics?

And, and that, I think it created a new
sense of me relying on my teammates.

Um, which is something that I
felt like really did transfer

over to when I returned.

It's like, you know, I had to rely
on guys like Braden K or Waylon,

Lapa, Caleb, et tn, the guys who had
been in there and done it before,

who had been my teammates for years.

It's kinda like, you know, meeting
with them a little more and be

like, okay, this is what we need.

And said, this is, this
is what I need from you.

You're the leader out there right now
where, 'cause it's always been me.

I've always been the one, you know, as,
as the center, you're kind of a natural,

it's a natural leadership role anyways.

'cause you're making calls and
everyone's waiting for you.

And so it's really easy to just
take charge of everything out there.

And now we have a young center
in there, you know, who's just,

who's just trying to do his job.

Right.

You know, that's, that's
all he is worried about.

He can't worry about all,
all four of the other guys.

And so, you know, and then
when I came back it was like,

I, I brought that with me.

It's like now it's okay.

I, I'm relying on Waylon, you know, next
to me in those games and, and time even.

And, uh.

Uh, Caleb, you know, like there was,
and, and I could get super technical

into the football sense of how we did
that, but you know, it was, it was a

lot more of us working con jointly, um,
together as a unit versus me just barking

out commands and then us executing 'em,
which, which still worked great for

us in the first half of the season.

We were playing really well, but I
think, you know, we became really

unified as a group near the end, um,
because of that too, in a lot of ways.

Jethro D. Jones: I, I think
that's such a powerful statement.

Um, background is being a school
principal, and so I would have

to go and do teacher evaluations
on teachers teaching things

that I'd never taught before.

And my favorite was, uh, somebody doing
a, uh, a Spanish teacher where I'd

have to go give feedback on teaching.

And I've never taught Spanish before.

I don't know how to do it.

I, I learned to.

Another language for my mission,
but, um, but I didn't know Spanish.

And so how, what am I supposed to do?

How am I supposed to even
give feedback to this person?

And yet that's part of my job is
to be a support and help them.

and you really understand that,
like you said, you can't just

be, you know, barking out orders.

have to give people an opportunity
to see what they're doing and see

how they can impact and what, what
they can bring to the table also.

And, and that just opens the door
for, opportunity, revelation, uh,

the spirit to influence everything.

Like it just opens the
door a ton for that.

Anything you want to add to that?

Connor Pay: Yeah, I think, uh,
I think what I'm hearing is, you

know, great leaders in power, right?

And it's, uh, it's, uh, and, and you
can, I think one of the marks of a

great leader is you can take something
like an evaluation, which, you know,

can be intimidating for, you know, the
employee, for someone else to have your

leader coming in, critiquing you, and you
can turn that into a really empowering

experience for them by, I think helping
them become or feel more personally

responsible for their performance.

And I think that's a little bit
of what happened, at least in the

football sense with, with, with us.

And then I remember learning
those lessons from my mission

president in the mission field.

And I think the savior is the
ultimate example of that as

a leader and as a teacher.

You know, when you think
about the way he taught.

Parables.

He, he empowered the people to figure
and interpret things out on their own.

Um, very rarely did he just
blurt out or tell you the answer.

And, uh, you know, and, and at the
same time giving, you know, at times

harsh and, and scathing critiques of
the Pharisees and the SOEs, but also

at the same time teaching them, right.

And, and, and maybe they weren't ready to
receive it in a way, but everyone who was

around and listening was ready to receive
it and, and interpret those teachings.

And, and he empowered the people.

And I think that's what made his, the
response to him is, and the movement

that he started and, and his original
church, I think that's what gave it

the strength to rise, is they had
a great leader who was capable of

empowering the people who followed him.

And, you know, I think that's, uh.

At least that's what I think of when
I think of the story of this year.

And as you were sharing your
evaluation as a principal,

that's kind of what came to mind.

Jethro D. Jones: Yeah.

So there was something else you're
gonna say about your injury.

Do you remember it or did you forget it?

Connor Pay: Hmm.

Um, it was, uh, it was
about the challenges.

Right.

Jethro D. Jones: Uhhuh,

Connor Pay: Um,

let's see.

Do I remember what it was?

Yeah.

It was, um, not being able
to be on the field anymore.

We might have to come back to it.

Jethro D. Jones: That's fine.

If, if you remember, just
be like, I remember now

Connor Pay: Okay.

Okay.

Gotcha.

Jethro D. Jones: of thing.

It happens.

And, and the whole point here is for us
to go where the conversation leads us and,

Connor Pay: Yep.

Jethro D. Jones: questions just for
everybody who's listening, but we

don't have like a, bullet by bullet.

This is what we're going through.

Um, I want to talk about the, the
idea of being, a D one athlete and

how much time, energy, and focus that
takes how you stay faithful, and.

Uh, and stay close to the savior
that's, when there's, there's

pressure on everybody, right?

No matter what you're doing.

How do you stay close to the savior when
football, school, work, whatever can

be such a distraction from, from what
the savior needs you personally to do.

Connor Pay: I think, I think
it's honestly quite simple.

Um, in my opinion.

There's, uh, there's something that
I would teach in the mission field.

I'm sure it's commonly used, but
I call, I call it, uh, spiritual

CPR, you know, go to church.

Pray and read your scriptures.

I've never, I've never met anyone in
my life who has lost their relationship

with the savior, who has consistently
done on a daily basis those three things.

You know, it's almost always, you know,
you the, it might, there might be some

blanket issue when we were helping to
either, you know, help, uh, someone

who was first learning about the church
to prepare for baptism or helping,

uh, members who's been inactive for a
long time to come back to the church.

There might have been this glowing
issue, but as we asked more questions

and got to know them better and got
down to the crux of it, it all began

when they stopped reading their
scriptures and stopped praying.

You know, that's, that's, uh,
that's, that's where that path began.

And so for me, that's, that's what
I, that's the approach I take.

I know that if I, if I am praying daily
and I am reading my scriptures daily.

That I'm always gonna maintain my
relationship with the savior and then if

I'm going to church weekly, but then also
daily trying to live up to the covenants

I made this last Sunday, or the covenants
rather I renewed this last Sunday.

You know, I think that's been,
that's, and, and you know, I think

the gospel at its core is extremely
simple and, and you can do a lot and

read a lot to over complicate it.

But when you really break it down to
its five core elements, it's really

not, not, uh, not that complicated.

And so I think for me,
that's what I've tried to do.

'cause anybody can do that
in their busy schedule.

Like there, there were some days,
especially when, when I was in, you know,

a heavy semester of school in season
that, you know, I was getting home at 10

30 at night and I had to be up at seven
o'clock the next morning for classes.

And it's like, you know what?

I found a way to just, okay, if,
if five minutes is all I got for my

scripture study today, that's all I got.

Some days I have extra time and
it's an hour and that's awesome.

Um, but I always made sure that
I said my prayers and I read

something in the scriptures that day.

And, uh, because no matter how
busy you think you are, you can

always find a way to do that.

Even if all you can get is
that little verse of the day,

Jethro D. Jones: Mm-hmm

Connor Pay: you can set that on your
phone in the Gospel library app, even

if all you do is get your notification
once a day and you read that like

that, that sometimes that can be
enough to sustain you for that day.

Um, but I think, you know, it's
impossible to have a relationship with

someone you don't communicate with.

Jethro D. Jones: yeah.

Connor Pay: So you have to pray
to talk to heavenly father.

And for me, the scriptures
are how he speaks back to me.

Jethro D. Jones: Mm-hmm

Connor Pay: And so that's, that's how, uh.

I think that's how I've been able
to maintain that relationship

the same way I would maintain
any relationship here on Earth.

Jethro D. Jones: Yeah, You, um, talk
a little bit more about that, about

maintaining relationships here on earth.

Connor Pay: Well, I think about what
that means, like, okay, who are the

people I'm closest with on this planet?

My parents, my siblings, you know,
I have a lot of friends, but I

have two or three that are like
my real close friends, right?

I have my girlfriend.

It's like, okay, what,
what makes us that close?

And it's the frequency of
communication and the amount of

information they know about me.

That's, that's the only thing
that separates them from everyone

else around me in the world.

They know more about me and
they've spent more time with me.

That's, if you, if you really
think about it, that's it.

Right?

And then obviously with parents
and family, there's genetics

and all that stuff too.

I'm not disregarding that, but
I'm just taking it kind of at

face value and it's like, okay,
um, I feel like my relationship

with God isn't as good lately.

It's like, okay, well if I think
about it like that, how much time

have I spent with him recently?

How much does he know about, you know, my
life and what I'm going through right now?

I guess a better way to phrase that.

Obviously he knows how
much have I told him?

Jethro D. Jones: Exactly.

Yep.

Connor Pay: know, and, uh, um, it's
like, man, did I have, I said as much

of my prayers as I told my buddies when
we got on to play Call of Duty tonight.

And we were, you know, just chatting,
chatting about our lives over the headset

and what we were going through that week,
you know, and challenges we're facing

what's going on with them at work or
me at football or school or whatever.

It's like, have I told God those things?

Jethro D. Jones: Mm-hmm

Connor Pay: Oftentimes,
oftentimes the answer is no.

You know?

And so that's kind of a, that's kind of
my litmus test that I use a little bit.

Okay, okay.

Who, where, who are the
people that I'm closest to?

Does have I told them or have
I told God the same amount or

everything that I've told to them?

'cause then that's, that's
'cause that's how those close

relationships are developed.

And so that's, uh, I think there's a
strong correlation with, uh, you know,

how relationships are built here.

I think in a lot of ways is the same way
they're built up there just through avail.

Jethro D. Jones: Yeah.

Well, I, I like that the way you're
talking about that, because I think about

my own prayers and I do not like tell God
what's going on, and, and I haven't really

thought about telling God what's going on.

Like I would tell.

A, a friend, what's going on?

And there have been a few times where
I've like had a real deep talk and like a

wrestle with God about things in prayer.

But those are few and far between.

But I'm, I'm now thinking like, what
if I prayed like that every day?

What if I said like, here's what
I did today here's, here's the

exciting things that happened
and here's how I feel about it.

I mean, I do that with my wife pretty
regularly, but I don't do that with God.

And so in your experience in doing
that, um, like do you get, I don't

wanna say do you get, but do you feel
like, like Don't take this wrong way.

I believe our prayers are
heard so it's not that.

But I, I often feel like our, the, the
heavens are silent when I want something

specific and they're not always like, I'm
not like Joseph Smith where I can ask and

then I start dictating the revelation.

Like, doesn't happen with me.

It comes in much different ways for me.

So, um, so I haven't tried doing that
on a regular basis and maybe that's

an area where I need to improve.

And to add there?

Connor Pay: Yeah, I think, I mean,
obviously I think I feel the same, you

know, and it's, uh, you know, I can only
count on maybe one hand the, those, those

very strong experiences that I've had
with the Holy Ghost the rest of the time.

It's, uh, you know, um, I think,
uh, the way the scripture's

described is, is still small voice.

That's, that's truly what it is.

It's not, it's not, you know, shaking you.

And, uh, um, but I, there are
moments where it has and where I

definitely needed it, but that's,
that's, uh, few and far between.

And it's, it's ironic that you say Joseph
Smith because I hear people so many times

they draw that comparison where it's
like, man, he just kept praying and we

got 130 something sections in the DNC.

And it's like, oh yeah, like, that's true,
but you gotta remember he had a calling

and some keys we don't have, you know,
and it's, uh, the, the roles are a little

different and if you really want to get
into it, a lot of those revelations are

not what he was expecting and not probably
exactly what he was hoping to hear.

Jethro D. Jones: yeah,

Connor Pay: and,

Jethro D. Jones: But if we think
about our own stewardship, we could

probably fill a hundred and so
sections about the things that we need

to be doing and paying attention to

Connor Pay: yeah.

Jethro D. Jones: and, and so he's
do getting it for the whole church,

but we definitely are promised
that we can get it for whole lives.

And I'm definitely here to
testify that that is the case.

And anybody who's listened to my interview
with my wife on this podcast, um, at

a decade never to be forgotten.com,
there is definitely, um, we're in

the middle of that right now and we
are, we're getting little inklings.

And, and that's it.

And this, this conversation right
now, I didn't tell you this so

I'm gonna tell you it right now.

I, your name was one that came to me.

was like, there is no way I.

I am ever gonna get Connor Pay on my show.

There's just, it's just there.

It doesn't make any sense at all.

And I was listening to Two Point
Conversion, which is a podcast

you do with Chase Roberts.

And, um, you said something on there,
and I was in the gym and I was like,

I, I got this little impression.

You need to share this on social media
and then you need to reach out to

Connor and, that's what you need to do.

And lemme tell you, man, like
it was, it was like, you need

to just do it right this minute.

So I'm in the middle of a set and
I finish my set and then I do it.

And, and then you got back to me and
I was like, well that is amazing.

There's no reason why you
would feel any need to reply

to me and yet, and yet you did.

And that's one of those things where,
because I was pondering and open, I.

The spirit said something and,
and then we were able to connect.

So those kinds of things happen often
enough that, that you can either

say it's a fluke or you can ascribe
it to, a miracle from God, which is

how I prefer to ascribe it myself.

Connor Pay: Agreed.

I think so much of, uh, um,

you know, so much of what happens
around us is purely perspective.

Jethro D. Jones: Mm-hmm

Connor Pay: You gotta, you gotta
make a choice, um, where you think

it came from because both make sense,

Jethro D. Jones: Mm-hmm

Connor Pay: right?

And I think, uh, um, no, but it's true.

But I do like what you said about,
um, you know, where you, you can, you

can write your own DNC so to speak.

I think that's how it works with
parents, you know, a husband

and wife for their family.

Jethro D. Jones: Mm-hmm

Connor Pay: You know, that's how it
works for, uh, a bishop on behalf of

his ward, a relief society president
on behalf of her relief society.

So we were always one, I think
one of the key pieces of agency.

Um, is that we're all given
jurisdiction over something,

Jethro D. Jones: Mm-hmm

Connor Pay: even if that only means
you're given jurisdiction over yourself.

Right.

And, and you have the ability
then to receive revelation on

behalf of that jurisdiction.

And, and for the vast majority
of us, it's just us, right?

Like until, like, in my case, until I'm
older, have a married, have a family,

you know, like it's just me right now.

And that's, that's who I
have jurisdiction over.

And that's, that's who I have personal
responsibility for, is myself.

Right?

And so I, I kinda love that that analogy
you used of writing our own personal,

Jethro D. Jones: Yeah.

Connor Pay: DNC because it's, 'cause
like I said earlier, it's the most

promised thing in the scriptures, the
most repeated promise in the scriptures.

Jethro D. Jones: Yeah.

And, and so the other part of that is
that you have to actually ask something.

Connor Pay: Yeah.

Jethro D. Jones: you can't just say,
I need, I need, I need, you have to

say, I need, I need this, and I'm
asking you to help me achieve this.

And, and, and that's what I think
is so powerful is that, know, it's

not just, it's not, it's gotta be
something that you're looking for.

You, the doctor in covenants came from
Joseph asking specific questions and

wanting guidance on specific things.

That's a pattern for us to
ask for guidance and, and

direction on specific things.

And so, as, as you are making decisions,
how do you bring that in to your life?

There are some things where you're
like, know, if I want to get ready

to be in the NFL, I gotta go.

some training and then go to a pro
day, but like how do you decide which

one of these camps to go to and how
do you make those kind of decisions

that may be big or they may be small.

Connor Pay: I try.

I try my very best and
I'm not perfect at it.

Um, to, to just follow the
instructions that were given in

the DNC to study it down your mind
and then ask me if it'd be right

Jethro D. Jones: Mm-hmm

Connor Pay: where it's like, at least
in my case, in the athletics world,

there's thousands and thousands of papers
of research, of all kinds of stuff on

how, how, at least for me, how to train
my body the best for upcoming pro day.

And it's like I, I could objectively
look at each different facility I

wanted to go to, um, and be like,
okay, here's pros and cons here.

Pros and cons here, blah, blah, blah.

But then it's like, okay, now that
I've done all that, like I, I've done

the study it out in my mind part.

That's when now I, I took it to my knees.

I said, heavenly Father,
this is what I found.

Um, you know, and then it's like,
this is, this is what I'm feeling.

I feel like this, this place in
Atlanta, um, you know, is, is the

one I feel like this is the one that
would help me progress the best.

And it's like, if, if you please let
me know in, in some way somehow that,

uh, you agree with that, and or if
I'm, if I'm on the wrong track, please

find a way to or let me know that too.

You know?

And it's, uh, for me, that
answer came when I presented my

top three options to my agent.

And they were like, we've worked
with Velocity in Georgia before.

We've had great results there.

We think it should be velocity.

And for me that was kinda like a
confirmation, like, okay, velocity

was what I was feeling, you know?

And then, and then, uh, now to
have, uh, in this case, my agent

kind of be, um, in, in my mind kind
of the, the, the confirmer, right?

The, the messenger that, okay.

I, I do think I'm on the right track
here and you know, that I've, I've kind

of had a good feeling about it inside.

Um, ever since then.

And so that's kinda what I tried to do.

And, and sometimes it's not
as cut and dry as this was.

'cause you know, I'm able,
I'm able to categorize things

in this form of training.

Like I said, it was very easy to be
very objective with all this stuff.

But then there's, it gets, I think
it gets a little more interesting

now when you have to choose
between good and good, right?

It's, I think it's very easy to choose
between good and bad, but how do you

choose between good and good, right?

Or, or, uh, or good and maybe a little
bit better, but you just can't quite tell

that it's a little bit better, you know?

And it's, I think that oftentimes
is more of the challenge.

Jethro D. Jones: Yeah.

So how do you manage that?

Connor Pay: I think that one takes
a little more work on, on your

part and a little more trust,

Jethro D. Jones: Yeah.

Connor Pay: um, where it's like, okay,
there might, there might be something.

'cause it's like that the lines get thin.

Between good and good where it's
like you may feel strongly about

something just 'cause of your own
personal opinion, and God may say,

Nope, we're going the other way.

And you have to be, I think for
me, I have to go into those prayers

being willing to act regardless
of the answer that I receive.

Or it's like if I go in just secretly
hoping like, oh my gosh, I really hope

it's this, I really hope it's this.

And then if like, if it's not this,
I'm kind of gonna be deflated and

ugh man, I don't even know if I
want to do it anymore, then why?

Why would God gimme an answer then if
he knows I'm not gonna do anything with

the answer that he's gonna give me?

Right.

So I think having a humility and a
willingness to where you, you really just,

you get to the point where it's like,
look, I've, I've, I've done everything

I can to try to come to a decision.

I've done my part.

I need your help on this.

Like, help me figure this out and I will.

You know, the kind of the sense of
not my will, but thine be done type

of a thing, type of a mindset, um,
where it's like, just, just tell me

what I need to do and I will do it.

I think that's when that's
when answers really come.

I think that's when, you know, when you
hear the, the phrase regarding prayer,

the broken heart and the contrary spirit,
you know, and, uh, willing to act.

I think, uh, that's, that's when we
really can receive answers to those,

maybe those questions of good and good.

And I think I'd maybe put like the
facilities and, uh, that I was choosing

from in a good and good category.

'cause they were all good.

They, they had all trained tons of
professional athletes before, had

really good reputations and it was
kind of having to find the fine lines.

And for whatever reason, I felt,
uh, I just had a feeling, a little

inkling that I felt like this
is the place I needed to go and.

Eventually got that confirmation
and now after being here for a

week and a half, so far it's been
nothing but a great experience.

Jethro D. Jones: Yeah, and, and I
think that's so illustrative of.

What of the process that
you need to go through.

Like you need to do your own work, you
need to figure things out on your own,

and then you need to take it to the Lord.

And then you need to be willing
to do what he directs you to do.

And, a lot of times, like you're, you're
gonna go to Pro Day and the draft,

and it, it could be that you are an
undrafted free agent or you could be

picked high or anywhere in between.

And so you have to be okay with
whatever the result is when that comes.

And when you work hard for something
and you, and you put all this effort in,

and then it doesn't come to fruition.

Um, that's, that's tough.

How do you foresee yourself dealing
with that, if that were to happen?

Like what, how are you gonna stay
strong and still trusting God?

Connor Pay: Um, I feel like that's a
lot easier to handle when I know that

I've done everything that I can do.

Jethro D. Jones: Hmm.

So good.

Connor Pay: Um, that's, uh, when it's,
I, I think, uh, you could take, uh,

this, uh, football season for example.

You know, we really, we really felt like
we were the best team in the Big 12 and

we should have been in that championship
game and we could have won it and

played in the college football playoff.

But, um, you know, this is this, we, we
worked so hard in this off season and

during the season that, uh, you know,
when we found out that we didn't get it,

as much as that stung and as much as that
sucked, we could all look each other in

the eyes and be like, look, we had some
things that didn't go our way, but we,

we poured our hearts out on that field.

We did everything we possibly could.

And at that point it's
kinda like, you know what?

It's, uh, it is what it is.

Life, life goes on.

And thankfully we got another chance
to go, to go and play in a, in a

Great Bowl game against a great team.

And I think because of that mindset,
we were able to go and perform well.

Jethro D. Jones: Yeah.

Connor Pay: Um, and uh, you know,
but I think that's, I think that

handling this, the potential failure
that's in front of me is how I

handle, that's gonna be determined
by what I do between now and then.

Or if I do everything in my power

to make an NFL team and
I get cut, so be it.

You know?

I know I did.

I maxed out my potential.

I maxed it out.

If I just find different ways to get
everything out of myself that I can,

I have nothing to be ashamed of or to
be mad, I, I'll obviously, I'll be sad

about it and I'll be upset, you know?

'cause obviously it's a dream that I've
always wanted, but at the same time,

if I know that I've given everything

at that point, you know, there's,
there's nothing you can do.

And so I think, uh, I think that's why
I can, uh, my mind can rest easy on it

and I can go in stress free because I
know that, I mean, I'm only a week into

this eight week training process, right?

But I've, so far, I haven't
wasted a second, right?

And so it's, uh, I know that
I'm doing everything that I

need to do to be prepared.

And I think that kind of, uh, kind
of helps you move forward because

sometimes you can, you can work so hard
and work harder than everybody else,

and you still don't get what you want.

And that's just how the world works.

Sometimes it just wasn't
meant to be right.

And that doesn't, that doesn't mean
that you're, uh, that you're not,

you're not worth anything or, or that,
uh, you know, there's, you, you must

have made some mistakes along the road.

Sometimes things just don't happen, right?

Because there's, there's a hundred
other things happening around you

that you have no control over and
God gave them agency to, right?

And it's, uh, I think, uh, you know,
that's kinda where my head goes.

Jethro D. Jones: Well, I,
I really appreciate that.

And for those who haven't seen your, your
deep blue episode where you talk about.

hard you prayed for your grandpa
to survive, uh, cancer and,

um, and then it didn't happen.

That's a good, parallel to this also.

And, you know, what, what I'm struck
by is, is I'm hearing echoes of,

of similar sentiments, that it's,
that God has a plan and it's okay

trust in God's plan and don't know
it, and you, and that's okay too.

And you can still, you can still
have joy and happiness, even not

understanding the full picture.

and, and that's what I'm, I'm hearing
from you today and from, uh, knowing,

uh, a little bit about your past as well.

Um, I.

So

one of the other things that I think
is, well, you touched on, on this,

remembering our covenants and, um,
this was a few minutes ago, but, but

it peaked something in, in me that I
think is really, uh, I'm not, I'm not

sure where exactly I'm at with it still.

So I, I go to sacrament meeting
and we sing these songs,

uh, before the sacrament.

Then we take the sacrament and I feel such
peace and I feel such, um, forgiveness

and I feel like, okay, I can do anything.

then the world hits and it's almost
like I forget and, uh, and life gets

hard and then I do something stupid.

And I'm not talking like major sins,
but it, it's exactly what you're

talking about where when you know you've
put everything in and you've worked

as hard as you possibly can, then.

Then you're okay with the outcome.

so in those times, like I tried
to put everything in and I try to

do my best and I still fall short
of what I believe I'm capable of.

And, and I forget too quickly who
I am and, and that I am God's son

and that he is given me gifts and
abilities to be able to do things.

Um, what's your advice to someone who's
in that situation where they wanna

do the best they can, it feels like
they just constantly come up short?

Connor Pay: I think, um, it
reminds me of a, a talk by Elder

Holland, um, in general conference.

Um, I, I don't know if this is the title.

I can't remember the title off the
top of my head, but he talks about

how we can, we'll, uh, we'll never
be perfect like the savior commands,

but we can be perfect in trying.

And, you know, I think, um, you
know, and someone in that, in

that scenario where you feel like
you're constantly falling short

Jethro D. Jones: Mm-hmm

Connor Pay: is where
maybe, maybe sometimes.

You know, for where you're at, you're
setting the bar too high, where,

you know, even, even the savior
himself had to learn grace for grace.

You know, as we, as we learn in section
93 of the doctrine and covenants, and

you, it's, it's by small and simple things
that great things are brought to pass, you

know, as the Book of Mormon teaches us.

And so it's like, okay, you might
feel like you're falling short,

but okay, think about the small and
simple things you did right that day.

Because I think oftentimes, um, we
think of, we think of repentance and why

repentance is talked about so much, and
we always think of, um, repentance as

stopping to do something that is bad.

But so much of repentance is simply
starting to do things that are right.

It's, it's not always doing something
that's bad and, you know, you might feel

it, the feel the need, you know, feel
the, that godly sorrow as the scriptures

say after you've done something wrong.

It's just a little more
poignant in those moments.

But I would say, um, you know, I loved,
uh, the talk from Elder Dunn from Lesko.

It's 1% better,

Jethro D. Jones: Yeah.

Connor Pay: right?

You, you don't have to, you may feel
like you're falling short and you don't

have to fix that all at once, right?

That's, that's not, that's
not how things are done.

You know, history.

The scriptures make that clear, right?

That, that this is a process over time,
you know, and that, and that we are

trying to go through a transformation of
sorts while we're on this earth, right?

And you think of some of
the best to ever do it.

The people who were translated
Enoch and his people, he was

like 300 and something years old.

Like it took him a long time to
figure it out and get to that point.

And I think he's a great example, right?

And I think of, I think of when he
received his calling from, from God

in Moses chapter six, you know, where
he talks about how he, God calls

him to lead these people essentially
gets his little mission call, right?

Or uh, or uh, something of that nature
or received a new calling at church.

And, and you know, this is, you gotta
remember when you're reading these

verses, this is Enoch talking, the
prophet that got an entire city translated

and he is like, why are you asking me?

He is like, I suck at talking.

Everybody hates me.

And he is like, I am not
the person for this job.

. That was his initial response.

He was basically like, I am falling short.

I'm not, I don't think
I'm the person for this.

And I think it's so interesting
what God asks him to do.

He says, anoint your eyes with clay.

So Enoch anoints his eyes with clay.

And then I think the phrase is so
interesting that it says he beheld the

spirits that God had created where he had
a simple change in perspective, right?

His, his worldview had
changed a little bit.

He started to see the world as
God sees the world, you know, and,

and he saw people not for what
they are right now, but what they

could be and what they can be.

And I think that's, I think that's the
mindset we have to take with ourselves.

So I think the, the meanest person
sometimes, or the, the meanest, uh,

person or the person we are, the
meanest to oftentimes is ourselves.

And it's that we give ourselves no grace.

Sometimes the grace that we would,
we as good people, as empathetic

people would easily give to others
if they came to us with the similar

challenges that we're going through.

But for whatever reason, we
refuse to give it to ourselves.

And so I think, you know, and I, and
then maybe this is just a, a long-winded

answer, but, um, I'll, I'll try to
wrap it up in, in a thought here where

it's just, you know, there's, I think,
uh, all you need to do when you're

feeling that way, and it's, it's a lot
easier said than done, is just simply

have a shift in perspective, right?

To where you don't view yourself
as what you feel in that moment.

You view yourself as what God has
said you are and what you can be.

And just find something, something small
and say, that's what I'm gonna fix today.

This is what I'm gonna do today.

Small bite-sized pieces that are easy
to accomplish and you can all of a

sudden start taking bigger and bigger
bites and, and next thing you know,

you know, I think that's, I think
that's a, a natural process in life.

I think of the way we grow as
human beings, the way we grow

muscle or something like that.

If you're working out, you're
never gonna notice any difference.

If you start lifting, if you look
in the mirror after one day, even

a week, you're not gonna notice a
difference of lifting every day.

But you still do it.

You tear and you break those muscles down.

And then if you go and look at day
one and day 100, all of a sudden

you notice this huge difference.

But in the moment, it doesn't
necessarily feel that way.

And I think, uh, oftentimes
that's how it feels for us too.

You're probably making more
progress than you realize.

Jethro D. Jones: Yeah, that
that is absolutely correct.

And the other of that is that you,
you may not be making progress in one

particular area, but you're likely
making progress in another area that's

complimentary or, uh, or adjacent or even
like on the other side of that, you know?

you know, I, I think about someone,
um, who I know who's, who's trying

to, uh, quit smoking and, um, is
really, really struggling with it.

Um, but then like they, they haven't
kicked that habit yet, Their spiritual

growth over time, even though they're
still saddled with this physical

weakness is, is growing immensely.

at some point they're gonna have
the, the spiritual strength that

is stronger than their physical and
they're gonna be able to kick that

habit, but it's just not there yet.

And, and they feel like a failure
because they can't do that one

thing, but they, they're growing in
other ways that are incredible and,

and it's often hard to see that.

And you know, one of the things that's
beneficial about football is that you have

a clear, like is where the performance
really needs to shine game day, right?

And, and you have that day where you can
measure and say, this is how I performed.

And every mistake that you make, you go
back and look at it in film and you can

see how you did and you can correct it.

And then in practice,
you're working on it again.

And even as much as you practice
these last four years, you

still make mistakes, right?

And you're still not perfect.

And so you were to beat yourself up
over every one of those little things,

it would be, know, you'd, you'd
never step back out on the field.

And yet you know that you
gotta just keep on going.

And so being able to have that day of
this is, this is where it matters, and

this is where I'm taking a snapshot.

I imagine that really helps.

Does, how does that help you
in other areas of your life?

Connor Pay: I think it helps
immensely because that, that process,

the reason we use that process is
that's the quickest way to improve,

Jethro D. Jones: Uhhuh,

Connor Pay: right?

And so that's, uh, it's easily something
that I can apply to other areas of my

life in my schoolwork, takeout I did
on a pre the last test, for example.

Okay, these are the, these
are the questions I got wrong.

This is the categories they're from.

Clearly didn't know that well
enough that I know that that's the

area of emphasis I need to focus
my studies on for the next test.

You know, and it's, uh, I
think, um, you know, ironically.

There's something in preach my
Gospel on more of a spiritual

sense that I still use today.

You know, I think, uh, I'm a massive
proponent of, uh, preach my gospel.

I think every member in the church
should study, preach my gospel, um,

just the outlines of the doctrines
there that makes everything so clear.

And I think we'd have a lot less false
doctrine being preached by accident in

church on Sundays if people would just
read chapter three or preach by gospel.

But anyways, chapter six in
Preached by Gospel is, is about

developing Christlike attributes.

And there's, there's a little
quiz in the back of that chapter

where you can essentially gauge
where you're at on developing some

of those Christ-like attributes.

And that's one of those
things I like to do for fun.

Where it's, uh, I'll, I'll go
through and I'll see where I'm at

on some of those, and I have to be
honest with myself in answering it.

And I, I could find areas that I
need to go back and study and find

ways to improve to help myself
become more like the savior.

Right?

And that's been, that's, that's
like one, one clear thing on paper

that I know I can do to kind of give
myself a, so I mean a score, I, I,

if that's what you want to call it.

Um, but, but, uh, really all
it is, is it's an assessment

of my strengths and weaknesses.

And you have to be honest with
yourself and accountable to yourself

on what your strengths are, but
also what your weaknesses are.

And, and just keep in the back
of your mind that weaknesses

are not, are not detrimental.

They can seem that way in the
moment, but you know, the.

God has made it clear in the scriptures
that he gives unmet weakness, uh,

that it can become strong, right?

And, uh, and so that's, that's one,
uh, that's one random thing I kind

of thought of, you know, is that,
that that assessment is great.

I'm glad that put that in.

Preach by gospel.

Jethro D. Jones: Well, well
that's awesome because that

gives, uh, a to game day and a

Connor Pay: Yeah.

Jethro D. Jones: checking in and seeing
where you're at and performing to, to

make sure that what you're doing is, is
meeting the goals that you're setting

for yourself and allowing you to become
kind of person that want to become.

Look at you.

I mean, you got that within Arm's Reach.

Preach my gospel.

That's awesome.

You're just like, oh yeah, I
just have that right over here.

Talk about like

Connor Pay: Oh yeah.

This is

Jethro D. Jones: mouth is.

There you go.

Connor Pay: This is, uh, this is a
new one I just got, so I'm starting

to work my way through it, but.

It's, uh, I still study, preach by
gospel almost every day if I can.

Jethro D. Jones: Yeah.

Connor Pay: And not only because I've
been a mission trainer and a mission prep

teacher for the last four years, I'm not
anymore, but it's just, like I said, it

outlines kind of the doctrines so clearly.

Um, yeah, it's called
the attribute activity

Jethro D. Jones: Okay.

Connor Pay: and it's,

Jethro D. Jones: I did my mission
and preach, my gospel was just being

developed when I left my mission.

And so I didn't have, uh, I didn't have
any exposure to it, and so I've only

seen it cursory, uh, over the years.

And so it's fascinating
to hear you say that.

Like you still study it because it's, uh,

Connor Pay: yeah.

Jethro D. Jones: it's almost like a, a,
a, I almost think of it like a book that

doesn't really apply to me in the gospel.

'cause I'm not

Connor Pay: Yeah.

Jethro D. Jones: I think you're
calling me to repentance on that.

in a nice

Connor Pay: no, I'm, uh.

No, I, I think, uh, yeah, this is one of
those, this is one of those soapbox I'll

stand on, you know, it's, it's for members
to, to study from preach by gospel.

'cause then I could stop
hearing things that make me

go, what on earth are we doing?

And fast and testimony
meaning, or something.

But, uh,

Jethro D. Jones: Yeah.

Connor Pay: yeah, no, if it just goes
through, you can, you can respond to these

questions one through five, one being
never, two, being sometimes three, often

four, almost always, and five always.

And there's like six or seven questions
on the attribute of Faith, hope, charity

and love, virtue integrity, knowledge, and
um, you know, and then it has a scripture

reference attached to all of them,

Jethro D. Jones: Hmm.

Connor Pay: you know, and so it's,
uh, humility, diligence, obedience,

and, and so I'll go through that
just to kind of as a little, uh,

check myself type of, type of thing.

But.

Jethro D. Jones: Well,

Connor Pay: This is my public
endorsement of Preach my Gospel.

Jethro D. Jones: I'm, I've got a, uh, a
three hour drive, uh, today with my wife.

Uh, we're going the west side of
the state today, and, um, she, uh,

we're gonna do that in the car ride.

So that's, I

Connor Pay: Yeah,

Jethro D. Jones: had planned, but
that's, I'm driving and this is, this

is the radio I wanna listen to is, uh,
doing the Christlike attribute activity.

That's great.

Um, so as, as we get kind of close to
wrapping up here, I wanna talk about

the, the future o obviously you want
to be in the NFL this time next year.

What other, What other and things are
you trying to accomplish in the next

year and then also in the next 10 years?

And, so let's

Connor Pay: Ooh.

Jethro D. Jones: the next
year, 'cause we're gonna talk

about 10 years in a minute.

But what are some things you
wanna accomplish in the next

10 years or next one year?

Excuse me.

Sorry,

Connor Pay: I was gonna say 10 years.

I don't even know if I thought about that.

Um, but no, I think, uh, obviously the
biggest goal for me right now is, you

know, I wanna make an NFL team, right?

And that's, that's, that's
my biggest goal right now.

Just 'cause, uh, not only has it
been my dream for a long time,

but, and a very real way now.

It's how I provide for myself
and for my family right now.

And so, uh, that's the biggest goal.

But I, I, I also, I also want to
continue to develop my relationship

with my heavenly Father.

You know, it's, uh,

and, and honestly, I, I feel
like I'm doing a decent job,

you know, at the moment.

And so, but now it's
kind of like, okay, now.

What do I do now?

What are, what are some action
items I can kind of use to

take that to the next level?

Because it's the, it's kind of the same
thing about we were talking about earlier.

You know, it's, I, I look back 365
days ago from today and I'm like, Hey,

that's a lot of spiritual progress
made, you know, and I, and I feel like

I could do that from now to last year.

It's like now, okay, I need to continue
doing those things, but also take,

you know, the next step as well.

And I think, uh, you know, in,
in a strange way, chase and I's

podcast has been a big thing.

And that for me, I feel like
that's taken my study to another

level, uh, because I gotta, I
gotta know what I'm talking about.

If, you know, thousands of people
are gonna listen to me, talk about

it with, with church leaders and
general authorities, you know,

on, or have it on these podcasts.

Like the one we just recorded this
week was with Elder Michael Dunn.

Of the 70.

And so it's like if you're going in
there to have a gospel conversation

with these dudes, like you gotta
know what you're talking about.

Right?

And so it's like that, that's been the
thing in the last, you know, six months

that's helped me take it to the next
level for me on an individual basis.

Jethro D. Jones: Yeah.

Connor Pay: And so now I think I
gotta, I gotta do some, uh, I gotta

do some introspection a little bit
and figure out, okay, now what's,

what's my thing gonna be for this
year to help me take that next step?

You know?

And uh, and uh, you know, and I
guess, I guess we'll have to see,

Jethro D. Jones: Yeah.

Good.

So, uh, make an NFL team develop your
relationship with your Heavenly Father.

let's think further out,
like 10 years from now.

What is it that you wanna be focusing on
and, and paying attention to what's gonna

be important your life 10 years from now?

Connor Pay: yeah, 10 years I better
be married and have some kids.

Jethro D. Jones: Yeah.

There you go.

Connor Pay: That's for sure.

That's, that's, that's something
that I've always wanted, you know?

And so, uh, um, yeah.

And so my girlfriend and
I started dating recently.

That's why I didn't put that
into, into this year's goals.

I'm not trying not, not trying to
put too much pressure on us, right.

But, uh, um,

Jethro D. Jones: Yeah.

Connor Pay: no.

But in 10 years, I, I definitely,
you know, that's, that's the highest

covenant we can make on this earth.

Jethro D. Jones: Mm-hmm

Connor Pay: All right?

And that's, uh, I wanna,
I wanna do that, you know?

And, uh, and you know, the idea
of bringing life into this world

is a, is a pretty special thing.

We've been given one godly power on
this earth, the power to create life,

you know, and it's, that's something
that I wanna, wanna participate

in, you know, and it's, uh, always
been a dream to, to be a father.

Jethro D. Jones: Well, uh, I
will say being a father is like

the best thing in the world.

um, and it is just incredible.

And it, you talk, you talk about
creation, often you think like that's

just the act of creating a baby, right?

But really, you are creating a life
all as long as they're with you

because their life isn't finished yet.

And so conversations that you have, like
insights that you receive about them,

like you're still creating and molding
their life by what you're doing with

them, and that like, you know, your dad
is still influencing you and helping you

make decisions and helping you to find
who you are now because you're an adult

out of the house, but, but still in a
powerful way that, um, That you listen

when he says something and every child
listens when their dad says something.

Even if their dad is a, is a deadbeat,
you know, he's still their father.

Even if they don't really know him
a personal level, uh, and haven't

really connected with him, he still
is the one who gave them life and,

and can continue to influence them.

Um,

Connor Pay: Yeah, no doubt.

I think, uh,

Jethro D. Jones: go

Connor Pay: can I say one thing
about that too before we jump ahead?

Do you have, do you
have any adult kids yet?

Jethro D. Jones: Uh, my oldest is 18.

Connor Pay: Okay.

Um, nice.

I think the, the only reason I bring
that up is because I remember when I

got back from my mission, my parents
became less parents and more my friends,

Jethro D. Jones: Yeah.

Connor Pay: and it's been a pretty cool,
it's been a really cool transition.

It's like now that I'm older, they share
a lot more about their life with me and

like kind of the, the struggles that
they had to hide when I was younger,

you know, and some things my dad's in,
uh, my dad's a corporate attorney and.

There was some times when I was little,
six or seven that some companies were

coming after his company and he, he
was getting named these lawsuits that

could have landed him in prison and
they were obviously totally false.

Right.

And, and he obviously is fine now, but
it's like, dang, you were going through

all that and I was fricking playing Guitar
Hero on the Wii or something, and you

were, and you would come home and throw
the football around with me like nothing

was going on, you know, and it's like,
you know, it's, it's, it's really fun Now

it's like, obviously, you know, my, my
dad is, will always be like the leader of

our family and, uh, him and my mom will
always be the leaders of our family and

I'll always respect them in that way.

But it's like, now my parents are more
my friends than they are my parents.

And I gotta be careful with
that sometimes when I tell them

how, how, uh, you know, how well
they're doing their parenting job.

Sometimes I need to know my place and
be more of a kid in certain moments.

And.

Jethro D. Jones: Yeah.

Connor Pay: I tell him that they don't
make my little brother do anything,

and his life is so easy, but you know,

Jethro D. Jones: Yeah,

Connor Pay: But no, I don't, I don't
know if you're seeing that transition

yet with your, with your 18-year-old,
but, but you, you become more, more

friends and it's, it's pretty fun.

Jethro D. Jones: it, it totally is.

And, and what's really fun is, is
listening to the spirit as you figure

out how to make that transition
and what things you share and

what things you, you still don't.

And you know, we had four kids
pretty quick, uh, all within

about two years of each other.

So 13 or 13 is the youngest,
then almost 15, then 17, and

then the 18, almost 19-year-old.

And so like, they're all

Connor Pay: Yeah.

Jethro D. Jones: in age.

So You know, in just five short years,
we're gonna be empty nesters, basically.

And like that really changes things
too, because that's not very long.

The last five years went by so
fast, I can't even believe it.

And, and, and yet, like we're
seeing them grow and develop and

develop their own testimonies, and
we think that's really important.

And so we've been harping
on that for years and years.

And now when I see it, it's so
inspiring see how they're doing and

see like, oh, has her own testimony.

He understands this aspect of the
gospel that I didn't ever explicitly

teach, but he totally gets it.

And he just showed me
by how he's acting now.

And like, oh man, it's, it's so good.

Um, so you are going from a very
structured, place to less structure,

more structure right now in, in
the, in the training facility.

you've gotta, you, you don't
have devotional BYU weekly.

You don't have like.

Team

Connor Pay: Yeah.

Jethro D. Jones: day and all these
other things, how are you going to,

uh, like in charge of your time?

So you're given the right amount
of time for you to the Lord

as you make this transition.

Connor Pay: Um, I think that
just comes onto to the basic

skill of time management.

You know, you kind of kinda, like
I said earlier, you can always find

time for, for God during the day.

And, and thankfully right now, you know,
this is, I'm almost on a, on a missionary

schedule right now with this training.

You know, we're just with a lot more
free time at night, you know, just, uh,

you know, we're at the facility from
like seven to about, I get home on a

longer night, I'll get home at like five.

And so that's, that's all at the facility,
that's all structured over there.

I'm always doing something and then
I, I get home and I kind of have the

night to myself, you know, and it's, uh.

It's, it's kind of nice.

I have like a two hour window during the
day, which is kinda like my quiet time.

'cause I'm like, I'm, I'm two
hours ahead, uh, from Utah time.

And so it's like my parents are siblings.

My girlfriend's still in
the middle of their day.

Like they're not back from
work or school or whatever yet.

And so it's kinda like
I can turn my phone off.

Nobody's gonna text me or call me.

And it's like I can, I can,
that's kind of the time when I

first get home from training.

Gotta be careful if I lay on
my bed too quick, I'll be out

because I'm so tired from the day.

But, um, if I, uh, you know, or I
can sit down and actually have, this

has been really fun being out here
'cause I've had more time to study the

scriptures than, you know, I had during
the season just 'cause we're so busy.

And so that's been a big deal for me.

Just, uh, and then obviously once I, uh,
once my schedule gets less structured.

You know, getting back for Pro Day, it's
really just gonna be, I'm, I'm a big

scheduler person where it's like, okay,
I'm gonna, I, I, I'm picking a window

during the day where I'm gonna do some
studies and, you know, that's my window.

And then I always take when I wake up in
the morning, and, you know, before I go

to bed to have that time to pray, right?

And, and obviously I, I
pray throughout the day.

Um, but that's, that's kind of my
structured time where, where I know

I can get it and, uh, um, you know,
and I try to, try to cut that time

in half, you know, where I spend the
first half praying and, and telling

heavenly father what's, what's on my
mind and what I've been going through.

And then the other half, I'll have
a little pen and paper and I just

spend sitting there listening, you
know, to, uh, to see what heavenly

father has to say to me because, uh.

I remember Elder Holland talking
about that at a youth devotional hill.

They're hiring, I think they did like
the Hill Kimora like 10 years ago.

I don't remember exactly where it was.

We talked about how oftentimes we're
talking to God, saying this prayer

that was saying everything we need.

And you know, it's like
a phone conversation.

Like, okay, sweet, thanks.

Name of Jesus Christ am Amen.

Bam.

Slam the phone down right.

Conversation over.

And we didn't even give him a
chance to talk back, you know?

And so ever since I've heard that, I've
always tried to do that where I'd say,

I say my prayers and then I give some
time to where I just listen within with

a notepad and paper and I write down
the thoughts and feelings that come.

Um, and it's like those are
things that I know I can do every

day regardless of my schedule.

Jethro D. Jones: Mm-hmm

Connor Pay: And so that's, that's what I
like about those because I can, they're,

they're easily adaptable with all the
crazy stuff, schedule-wise I'm gonna be

going through in the next little bit.

I, I know that I'm gonna be able to find
windows to study, you know, and, uh, I

know that I can take five or 10 minutes
before I go to sleep, or right when I

wake up in the morning to pray and listen.

Like it's, you know, it's, uh,
it's, so that's, that's, uh, that's

kind of my, my philosophy that I'm,
that I'm taking to it right now.

Jethro D. Jones: I like that and that,
and what I appreciate about it is,

uh, another thing that, that I am just
reminded of that I need to do better

is, um, take that time to listen.

And, uh, you know, I, able to listen
at different times throughout the day

but the middle of that prayer, uh, I,
I very much at the end of the day am

like, pray goodnight, and boom, hit the
pillow and take much time to listen.

So I, I can definitely get better at that.

Um, thi this has been
an awesome conversation.

Connor.

Anything else that you want to
add or say before we sign off?

Connor Pay: Um, no, not
that I can think of.

I just really appreciate the opportunity.

This is a cool thing.

You know, it's a cool, almost, uh,
annual spiritual journal entry, right?

Jethro D. Jones: Yeah.

Yeah.

Well, I, that is what I am most excited
about because in the moment, like we

don't think about like this is going
to impact and we can all look back

and be like, 10 years ago, wow, that
really was amazing or hard or whatever.

Um, but to do it in the middle, like such
a gift that you are, uh, like you're full

of anticipation and positivity about the
NFL draft and, and that's, that's awesome.

and next year your life is gonna be
totally different no matter what happens.

Right?

Connor Pay: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Next year's episode's
gonna be a doozy probably.

Jethro D. Jones: Yep.

And, uh, and there's gonna be a lot going
on for sure, and we may need to adjust it

because you might be, uh, preparing for
the Super Bowl and you may not have time

to sit down and have this conversation.

So you know, that's,
that's the prayer at least.

So, you know, this, I, I think
it's gonna be really fun.

I think it's gonna be beneficial
for your kids and, uh, your

posterity later to see this.

And,

well listen to it 'cause we're not
saving the video, just the audio.

So, you know, I, I, I'm just really
appreciative of it and to everybody

who's listening, thank you so much.

And, uh, um, can hear all the
episodes at a decade never to be

forgotten.com Connor, thank you so much.

Is there any way you want people
to connect with you, follow

you on Instagram or anything?

What do you I.

Connor Pay: Uh, hit me up on Instagram,
Twitter, you know, uh, uh, feel free.

Those are kind of the main.

Platforms that I'm on
and yeah, just, yeah.

Thanks again for, for putting
this all together and doing this.

It's really cool.

Jethro D. Jones: Yeah.

Thank you.