A Decade Never to be Forgotten

Jethro D. Jones: Welcome to a
decade, never to be Forgotten.

I'm here with Nathan Jones, my brother.

And this podcast, follows the stories
of people, over the next 10 years

about what they're doing to make their
decade, a decade never to be forgotten.

If you want to be part of the ten year
journal, you can go to a decade never

to be forgotten.com, and, you can join
there and it's a little community where

we post answers to a question, every
single day, and then we'll ask, ask

those same questions again next year.

So that's a decade never to be forgotten.

Dot com.

And Nathan, welcome to the show.

Nathan Jones: Thank you.

Glad to be here.

Jethro D. Jones: So, what, what
brought you to this point in your life?

Let's get a little background of
who you are and what makes you, you.

Nathan Jones: Well, just to
get started, I am 38 years old.

Was born in 1986 in Salt Lake City, Utah.

My family moved us to Fallbrook,
California, when I was about

one and a half years old.

And, then in 95 we moved up to
Sacramento, where I spent most of my

life, moving around back and forth.

In 2013, I met my then wife, well, I met
her earlier and we got married in 2013.

We were married for almost six years.

When we got divorced, we had
four children during that time.

George, Trent, Rory, and Piper.

And I am now living in Ogden, Utah.

My kids live in Draper and.

That's the, the gist
of where we are today.

Jethro D. Jones: Gotcha.

So let's go back to your childhood
and what kinds of things,

formed you into who you are?

Like what memorable childhood
experiences resonate with you today

about, about how you are, how you are?

Nathan Jones: There's two really big
moments in my life that really resonate

with me that I ponder on often.

And that's, you know, most
of it revolves around my dad.

I had a very close relationship with
my dad and, I always wanted to be by

his side doing whatever he was working
on, whatever project he had going.

And I, I feel like I got
my work ethic from my dad.

He always had us going out
and doing service projects.

Helping people, move
and all sorts of things.

And so it really instilled
with me a good work ethic.

Another thing that was very
memorable, on the grounds of work

ethic is all four of us boys.

I have two, three brothers
and three sisters.

All four of us boys were, went to go
help a guy do some landscaping and

he had hired a bunch of other people
to come work as well alongside of us.

And he pulled me aside one time and
had me stop working and he pointed out

a couple of guys that were standing
around talking and he said, he asked me

what's interesting about these two guys.

And you know, I was probably
seven or eight years old at the

time and I had no answer for him.

Yeah.

And he said, see those
two guys, they're talking.

You notice how when they're
talking, they're not working.

And when you are when you're talking, then
you can't be working at the same time.

And I don't know why that made such
a big impression on me, but it's just

one of those things that, that I think
about often and it helps keep me focused

when I am working that if I do slack
off or start talking, to make sure

I'm being productive at the same time.

The second really memorable thing,
that really formed my childhood is

I'm very skilled with my hands and
doing physical and manual labor.

And, remember when I was very young,
I went out to help my dad change the

alternator in one of our cars, and
there was a bolt that he couldn't

reach and he called me out and.

Got my little hand up there to Unfasten
Bolt and get the alternator out.

And that was memorable in and of itself.

But what really made an impression
on me was how much he bragged

about me doing that my entire life.

And it really helped me to take a talent
that I already had and really foster that

talent and make that talent grow into
me being able to fix cars today and, you

know, build houses and do construction
and do physical and manual labor.

Jethro D. Jones: Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

And in that aspect of, the, the
first story of the guy pulling you

aside and commenting on your work
ethic at the time and the other

guy's work ethic and then dad saying.

This was awesome and bragging
about you, those things.

Those are things that I would still say
are true with you, that you are good at

doing things like taking a bolt off of
an alternator, or bracket or whatever.

Those usually get pretty tight.

So little five-year-old kid being
able to not just get his hand in

there, but then have the strength and
determination to keep doing it and

not give up and say it's too hard.

And you've been through a lot
of hard things in your life

and you still push through.

And so that's another thing that I see
coming from that story of, of having

the perseverance to go through it.

Nathan Jones: Yeah.

And it's not, you know,
it's not always easy to push

through those difficult times.

There's a lot of times in my life
where I have wanted to give up and, you

know, I, if I, some, sometimes I look
back on my life and don't know how.

I've gotten through some of
the trials that I've gotten

through, but here we are today.

Jethro D. Jones: Mm-hmm.

So what, what would you say has made it so
that you could get through those trials?

I know you say you're not sure, but now
with some hindsight, what, has helped you?

How have you managed that?

Nathan Jones: to be real honest,
I think the, through the hardest

things in my life, I think that
it really comes down to me just

being too much of a coward to quit.

with minor things in my life I'm able
to push through, but with the hardest

things in my life, I think I was
just too much of a coward to quit.

Jethro D. Jones: so how does that apply?

are you afraid of the
other people judging you?

Are you.

Afraid of failure itself.

When you say coward, what
does that mean for you?

Nathan Jones: I think it means
a lot of just being a, too

afraid to let other people down.

Too afraid of being perceived
as a quitter, afraid of,

and pride in myself and,

also just have not
having any other option.

Jethro D. Jones: Yeah.

there, in, in all of our lives
are choices that we make that

lead us to where we're at.

What are some of the choices you've
made that have led you to where

you're at now, and what would
you like to talk about with that?

Nathan Jones: I think one of the choices.

That I've made is more of a
personality trait of mine that

have led me to where I'm at.

Is I, and this is a recent
realization of mine and is that

I get, when I make a goal, I get
super hyper-focused on that goal.

And some people would say
that that's a good quality.

Other people might say it's a bad quality.

Because when I get hyper-focused
on something, I tend to neglect

a lot of other things in my life.

Jethro D. Jones: Mm-hmm.

Nathan Jones: Most importantly my
relationships, you know, and I think that

that's probably one of the things that
has led to a lot of losing relationships,

especially in my marriage, that I was.

Too hyper-focused on reaching my goals,
which were for the benefit of my family.

But I did neglect my wife
during that time, and I think it

ultimately led to her downfall.

Jethro D. Jones: Mm-hmm.

And, you know, as men especially, we do
all this stuff for our families, and,

and sometimes they have a hard time
seeing that because we're never around

or we're we're focused on these other
things or, or something like that.

What's a specific example of that,
that you're, that you'd like to share?

Nathan Jones: Well, in 2015 I started
my own landscaping company and we were,

I feel like it was very successful and,
we were reaching a certain revenue goal

and it was a revenue goal that was,
particularly difficult to break through.

But I really felt once I broke through
that certain number, then the business

would take off and I would finally
be able to pay my family more money.

We would be able to have a better
lifestyle than we were living.

And, I just, I felt, I just knew that
we were close to just breaking through

that ceiling and reaching a point where
we could finally breathe and relax.

And there's seasons to life.

There's seasons in your relationship
where you have highs and lows.

There's seasons in your career
where you have highs and lows.

And I was on.

I was on a high point in my career and
I felt like we were gonna break through

that moment and, I think it just became
too much for my ex-wife and, ultimately

caused to the end of our relationship.

Jethro D. Jones: Yeah.

And, so that hyper focus on reaching
that goal made you take your attention

away from the other things by
just trying to get to that point.

And then you felt like once you got
there, then you could relax a little

bit and the systems and process would be
in place so that you could keep going.

so how, has that changed your life and
how do you manage that now in your,

the relationships you have today?

Nathan Jones: it's, it is still a
work in progress because it is a.

It's something I always knew about myself,
but it's not something that I realized

was such a big problem, because in my
eyes I was doing, you know, I don't,

I don't really do much for myself.

I really thrive on doing
things for other people.

So usually those times of hyper focus come
when I have the most people to let down.

And so that's something that I'm currently
trying to work on, and now that I'm aware

of it, I think that I can, be more aware.

But being single now, I don't,
I don't feel that drive and that

hyperfocus to reach to a certain goal.

I think mo mostly in part because
I don't have anybody to share that

Jethro D. Jones: Mm-hmm.

Hmm.

Yeah.

you, you've had trials and challenges.

How have these trials and challenges,
helped you have faith and deepen

your faith and help your faith grow?

Nathan Jones: It, it's
been a difficult journey.

But I, one thing that I am grateful for
is that I know of the blessings that I

have in my life, and I am easily able
to recognize the ways that the Lord

has blessed me and all the things that
I still have and all the things that I

was able to rebuild, after those trials.

And, so I, I'm eternally grateful
for everything that I do have,

regardless of what I've been through.

And coming out of the other side of
that, it puts a different perspective.

Because, you know, sometimes it can
be easy when everything's going good,

when you have everything that you need.

But going through those trials where
everything gets ripped apart and

your life is in shambles, that, you
know, coming out on the other end,

you don't see it in the moment.

But in retrospect you can see,
all the blessings and all the,

opportunity that you have in your

Jethro D. Jones: Mm-hmm.

So, so being able to see those blessings
now is, is good, but in the trials it's

often difficult to see the blessings,
especially when your life is in shambles.

How, how did you deal with that
when your life was in shambles and

it felt like there was no hope?

Nathan Jones: I didn't
really, I gave up a lot.

I, you know, I've always
had faith in the Lord.

I've always had a
testimony of Jesus Christ.

And I don't think I ever lost that.

I never chastised God for the
things that I was going through.

I never blamed him.

I always took responsibility
for my part in it.

And, you know, I was horribly
wronged in my divorce.

And, so, I mean, to be perfectly
honest, I, I didn't have.

A lot of faith that I
would make it through.

I didn't believe that I could
come back and I was broken down

and beat down to my lowest.

And one of the quotes that I love the
most, and I don't know if he came up

with this, but Mike Mitz always says it.

And so I'll quote him in it, that
sometimes when you hit rock bottom,

you, your face gets dragged along
the rocks for another five miles.

And so you don't always bounce back.

It's not always a quick bounce back.

And, just my, own cowardice of
not being able to give up is

what pushed me through that.

And I didn't think that I would
ever come out on the other end.

Okay.

Jethro D. Jones: And now your life isn't
perfect, but you are on the other end.

What does that look like to
be on the other end of that?

Like, where are you at with
your faith, with relationships,

with, with things like that?

do, you can talk about anything?

Nathan Jones: So I guess one of my,
recently I have been going through,

I wouldn't want necessarily call
it a depression, but I, would call

it a period of trying to figure
out what my purpose is from here.

Because I am currently single, I.
Unfortunately have not been allowed

to have a relationship with my kids.

I have a great career and I have
a lot of future prospects, but you

know, I think being single and kind
of just in a, limbo stage has caused

me to ponder of what's the point.

Jethro D. Jones: Mm-hmm.

Now

Nathan Jones: I, you know, I think I
need somebody to share my life with.

But I currently don't have anybody to,
and you know, I often sit and think,

you know, I don't need this big house.

I don't need a yard.

I don't need vehicles.

You know, I'm happy living
on the bare minimum.

I could live in my camper trailer
and be just as happy as I am now.

You know?

And so I kind of am going through
a crisis of what's the purpose.

And I often reflect on, well,
I've been married in the temple.

I have kids, I'm sealed to my kids.

I, you know, what else,
what else is there?

I was raised in the church of
Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints,

where it was ingrained in us and
indoctrinated in us that we grow up,

go on a mission, get married in the
temple, have kids, and that's how we

make it back to our Heavenly Father.

And I know there is more to it than that,
but that's what's been ingrained in me.

And, you know, so sometimes I
feel lost in like, well, what's

the point in being successful?

What's the point in having things?

You know, those things don't make
me happy, you know, companionship

is what makes me happy.

Jethro D. Jones: Mm-hmm.

So you've, you've been through
this challenge where you don't

have relationship with your kids.

You still love them?

What, what have you learned about love
and eternal families from that situation?

Nathan Jones: Nobody's ever asked
me that question before, and I'm

not sure that I have learned much.

I, and it.

Certainly wasn't from that
situation that I learned anything.

I love my kids dearly.

I would do anything to have
a relationship with them.

But ultimately I just want them to
be okay and for them to be happy.

And if part of that means me not being
in their life, then you know, that's

what I'm willing to sacrifice right now.

So that they can be cared for and taken
care of as best they can without me.

So I know I love my children.

I know that I will be re reunited
with them again, whether it's

in this life or the life after.

And so that gives me solace,

and as far as relationships, I,
I know that I am capable of love.

I know that I have a lot to offer
somebody, and I do believe that, there

is someone out there that is deserving
of me, that I can share my life with.

Jethro D. Jones: Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

So you talked a couple minutes ago
about purpose, and we're gonna talk and

record every year for the next, decade.

So your purpose, especially now, if
you're like going through a crisis

with it, is likely going to change.

But right now, what's your
answer to that question?

What is your purpose?

Nathan Jones: I, I think my purpose,
for now in the near future is to.

Basically not blow up my life
so that I can continue on.

Because there are times where it's
like, I don't need to work so much

to be able to pay this mortgage.

I could sell this house and
go live in my camper trailer.

Jethro D. Jones: Mm-hmm.

Nathan Jones: you know, I
don't need this fancy truck.

I don't need, you know, all these
things that, that I've acquired.

But if and when I get the opportunity
to have my kids again in my life, I want

to be prepared to be able to give them a
life deserving and providing those things.

And I also want to be prepared to.

Have to be able to provide
for a wife someday as well.

So in the near future, it's just,
don't burn your life down because you

don't need all this stuff right now.

They can still be a tool in the future,
for when you do find that person.

And, and I think my purpose right
now is, finding that person.

And I know that, that that person's
not going to give me happiness and joy.

They are, you know, I
want them to add to my

Jethro D. Jones: Mm-hmm.

Nathan Jones: And, you know, I'm not in a
state where, I don't, where I'm unhappy.

I am happy with my life.

I just, you know, sometimes I feel like
I just don't need everything that I have.

Jethro D. Jones: Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

And, you know, you are getting
that, you're 38, you're close to 40,

you're gonna have a midlife crisis.

Right.

Like every guy goes through.

And I'm

Nathan Jones: I am terrified to turn

Jethro D. Jones: 40.

Nathan Jones: I I feel like my life is
gonna be over at 40 and I'm just not

gonna be able to have the same vigor
and drive that I do in my younger

Jethro D. Jones: Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

So, let's, let's talk a little bit about
your career and what's going on there.

And you said earlier that it's a great
career and what is it that makes it great?

Nathan Jones: The stability
and the fulfillment?

So I am a commercial truck driver.

I work locally and I mostly
work for construction companies.

Of driving dump trucks, doing heavy
equipment maintenance, stuff like that.

And so I recently just got a new job where
I am gonna be a heavy equipment mechanic.

And the doing this line of work
gives me a lot of fulfillment

because I am helping build America.

We do a lot of work on the
Utah roads and infrastructure.

We build a lot of commercial
buildings, stuff like that.

And so we really are helping
build America and give the things

that people need, places to live,
places to work, stuff like that.

And so it does give me a
lot of fulfillment being

able to have this career.

And I do enjoy it.

It's certainly not something that I
want to do for the rest of my life.

And I do hope to in the future.

To be more involved with real estate
investing and, to be able to build

a real estate portfolio, which I'm
hoping to rely on for my retirement.

Jethro D. Jones: Mm-hmm.

And what makes that interesting to you?

Nathan Jones: I think mostly, being
able to provide housing for people

and, you know, I'm a, I'm a dreamer,
I'm a big dreamer and so I always

fantasize about what the future's gonna
look like when I do this and that.

And so, um, one of the things that is.

That I dream about and when I, um,
go through the different scenarios of

providing housing for people is, you
know, having the opportunity when somebody

comes to me and says, Hey, I need help.

I need a place to live.

I can't afford this or that, and
being able to have the leeway

to be able to provide them
housing at an affordable price.

You know, not saying that I'm gonna
provide cheap housing, but just having

the autonomy to be able to decide this
family is in need and I trust them and

I think that they are deserving of it.

And so I'm in a position where
I'm gonna be able to help them.

And so it means a lot to me to be able to
be in that position to help other people.

Jethro D. Jones: Yeah.

That's good.

Um, so what are the things that
you, in in going through the past,

what are the things that, whether
they're trials or blessings that

have brought you closer to Christ?

Nathan Jones: I think that my,

I don't necessarily wanna say that
going through my trials have brought

me closer to Christ because I haven't
been a very good steward of Christ

in those, in those dark times.

You know, like I said before, I've
never chastised God for giving me

the trials that I have been given.

But on the other side of it, I always
recognize the blessings in my life.

After going through those trials.

And I know that God has pulled me
through those trials, because I

certainly didn't do it on my own

and I certainly wasn't
capable of doing it on my own.

And

they say that God doesn't give you
any trials that you can't survive.

And I don't know that's a hundred
percent necessarily true because

I think that he gives you trials
that you can survive through him

and that he can pull you through.

Jethro D. Jones: Yeah.

Nathan Jones: so I think that, I think
we do get trials that we can't survive,

and that's where the atonement comes in.

Jethro D. Jones: Yeah.

That's really beautifully said.

I was reading in Saints this last
week, and, one of the stories

talked about a woman who was, whose
husband was shot in the neck, and

he was paralyzed in the 1830s.

So imagine being paralyzed, your husband
being paralyzed in, that day and age,

and you have to take care of him.

And then the Saints were
expelled from Missouri and then

Navu, and they're on the way.

To winter quarters, and the US government
says we need people to come do the Mormon

battalion, so we need 500 soldiers.

And she had a son who was of
age where he could do that.

And she was like, you can't take my son.

Like he, I need him here.

And and she heard the spirit
whisper to her, don't you want

all the greatest blessings?

And she's like, well, yes I do.

And the spirit said, well, then you
have to give the greatest sacrifice

and and you have to let your son go.

Which was going to be an incredibly
difficult thing because she helped

him with her paralyzed husband.

And, and what you just said really
resonated that God's gonna give us

trials and we're not gonna be able to
go through 'em unless we rely on him.

And, and to me it sounds
like that's the purpose.

So what, what helped you learn that?

Because.

I don't know that everybody
understands that like you do.

Nathan Jones: I think just going
through losing my kids was the worst

thing that I've ever been through.

I fought tooth and nail for my kids.

And I gave it everything I had.

I spent 109 days in jail as a
result of fighting for my kids.

I was persecuted and beat down
and destroyed, and I wanted

to give up several times.

I didn't want to continue,
and no matter how hard I tried

to give up, I just couldn't.

And I, I, there's just no
other explanation for it.

And with my testimony and all the
things that I've been through, I,

there's just no other explanation
for it because I know that.

I didn't have the willpower to continue.

And one of the things that I
realized recently as well is,

obviously nobody's perfect.

Everybody knows that.

And you can be successful and successful.

You could do everything that you're
supposed to do and you can still have

failures and you can still be a failure.

And I was a failure.

I failed my marriage, I failed
my kids, I failed my family, I

failed my business, I failed life.

And that's okay.

And

it wasn't until recently when I
was talking to my brothers and

sisters at my mom's house that like.

We, talked through everything and it was
the first time that I felt like from an

outside source that it was okay that I
failed and there maybe wasn't necessarily

anything else that I could have done.

And I really honestly think
I did everything that I

could do and I still failed.

And I don't know that I
could have possibly ever been

successful in that situation.

But I truly felt like it's okay that you
failed and now it's time to come back.

And

even though you fail, it's
still possible to come back.

Jethro D. Jones: What does
that mean to come back

Nathan Jones: to be successful again,
whatever you define success as, everybody

has a different definition for it.

Everybody has a different
definition of failure.

Your failures might not be
failures to me, and my failures

might not be failures to you.

And so whatever your definition
of failure or success is, is

your own personal definition.

And you won't ever, you won't
ever be the same person.

You are always gonna have those scars.

You're always gonna have those wounds.

Some wounds will heal, some won't,
and you'll never be a hundred percent

back to the way you were before, until

the second coming.

And the resurrection.

And so it's okay to have those
failures and it's okay to continue

on, and it's okay to not be as
successful as you were before.

It's okay to be more successful
than you were before, whatever

that definition of success is.

Jethro D. Jones: Yeah, I think that's
really insightful because it's easy

to think, I'm, I didn't do this thing
that I set out to do, and therefore

I'm a failure and now I'm worthless.

And, you're saying very
clearly that's not the case.

Now, you didn't come to that conclusion
right after that failure, right?

So it took time and, now hearing you say
it, you have such confidence in it and

such clarity about it that it doesn't feel
shameful either to you, that you did fail.

Like it's just, you're just stating it
like another fact, like any other fact.

And do you think about that?

do you have to work to not feel shame
about it or do you, are you now oh,

I don't even need to feel shame?

Where are you at with that and
how would you, how would you help

someone understand that piece?

Nathan Jones: I do feel
shame about it still.

I am very shameful that
I let my kids down.

And I think that there's,
there's different levels of it.

I struggle with it every day.

I think about my kids every day
and I feel shame that I'm not a

part of their lives every day.

I don't think that'll ever go away.

Even if and when my kids are back in
my life, I am still gonna feel shame.

That's that scar, that's that
wound that will never heal.

I can never get that time back.

I know that I did everything
that I could do, but you know,

the, the, the shame will still be there.

And I have just decided that that's okay.

I, that

nothing's ever gonna change that.

And I have to fight the, through those
struggles when I have those down times.

and,

and I've told myself that's okay too.

we don't have to be
completely happy all the time.

We can have regrets in our life.

But we have to just continue to try
to get that healing, whichever way it

is, through therapy and or reflection.

And it's.

it's taken me five years
to get to this point.

It's been, five years since my divorce.

I haven't seen my kids in four years,
and that shame is never gonna go away.

Jethro D. Jones: So the shame
is still there, but you're still

moving forward with your life.

How, do you do that?

Nathan Jones: I try to think of the
future and, like I mentioned earlier,

of setting my life up to be prepared
for if I ever get to make amends

for not having my kids in my life.

And if they ever,

heaven forbid something happened to my
ex-wife and I have to take all my kids.

I need to be in a position.

Where I can do that.

And I do have a house that I can house
all of my children in comfortably.

And I have a wonderful family that
I know will support me and however I

need support to be able to do that.

Jethro D. Jones: Yeah.

So you, talked about these down times.

How do you, help yourself when you
are feeling down, who do you turn to?

How do you get support
when you're feeling down?

Nathan Jones: I don't, I don't turn
to a lot of people and that's probably

one thing that I need to work on, is I
need to reach out to my support system.

I do have two really good friends
that I could call and talk to anytime.

I tend to not want to burden them.

With it because, you know, we both know
that there's nothing that they can say

that's gonna make any of it better.

But sometimes it just feels good
to talk and I, I don't want to

burden them with that too much.

Because I know that they want to help.

I know that they want to say the right
thing that's gonna make everything better.

And they just can't, there's
just nothing anybody can do.

So, you know, I do have my, uh, my dog
Rocky, who, which kind of funny story

about him is he has kind of molded himself
into an emotional support animal, where

he has picked up on my anxiety and when
I get anxiety attacks or I get a little

over anxious, he comes and jumps on me.

And it took me a long time
to realize what he was doing.

But I made the connection that
every time he would come and jump

on me and try to cuddle with me
and I'm talking like in your face,

Jethro D. Jones: Mm-hmm.

Nathan Jones: you can't focus on
anything other than me right now.

You have to give me attention.

And you know, to be honest, it was
kind of annoying at first because I was

being anxious and then I had this dog,
this 90 pound German Shepherd come and

jump on me when I'm feeling anxious.

And it just kind of compounded
the problem at first.

And then I realized I made the connection
of what he was doing, and I noticed

that every time I would get anxious,
he would come and jump on top of me.

And so that's been a good way for me
to realize that, okay, I am being.

Too overly anxious right now.

I have got a panic attack coming on.

I need to recenter myself.

I need to, eliminate the things
in my life that are causing

me anxiety at that moment.

Jethro D. Jones: Mm-hmm.

Nathan Jones: You know?

And it's not a permanent fix,
but it's, you know, something

that helps me in the moment.

It's an immediate, recentering
that, you know, and it doesn't last,

but it helps me in that moment.

Jethro D. Jones: Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

So I have one more
question about the past.

But anything else that you want
to say about the past before

we shift to the future or a lot
of things that you want to say?

Either one.

Nathan Jones: I don't know
specifically, but I'm happy to

answer any questions that you have.

Jethro D. Jones: Okay.

So,

looking back at your life, what you
know, now you have an opportunity to go

back and give advice to your freshman
self, freshman in high school, so you're

13, 14 years old, something like that.

What advice would you go back and give
yourself at that time in your life?

Nathan Jones: Don't

let anybody tell you that
you can't do something.

If you want something, you need
to fight for everything to be

able to do what you want to do.

And I have an interesting
story about that.

When I was a freshman in high school,
the military came and did a recruiting

event and I went to the recruiting
event and I wanted to be a pilot so bad.

I wanted to be a pilot in the Air Force.

I wanted to be, I honestly
didn't care what means.

I got there and I saw the
military as being the best

way for me to reach that goal.

and so I went up and after the
event, I went up and talked to

the Air Force recruiter and told
him that I wanted to be a pilot.

And he said to me,
you'll never be a pilot.

Just go pick something else.

You know?

Oh, you can, you can join enlisted
and maybe someday you'll get to be a

pilot, you know, but you probably won't.

So pick something else.

Nobody, hardly anybody
ever becomes a pilot.

And I was pissed off.

I was incredibly hurt.

I felt dejected,

and I thought, man, screw him.

Screw the military.

You know, I don't need that.

If they're just gonna tell me
no, then I'm not even gonna try.

And it wasn't until, it wasn't
until several years later that I

realized that he wasn't being a jerk.

He was testing my resolve.

Jethro D. Jones: Mm-hmm.

Nathan Jones: Because it is
incredibly difficult to become

a pilot in the Air Force.

There's millions of service members
and only a small fraction of those are

Jethro D. Jones: Mm-hmm.

Nathan Jones: And where it is possible
for anybody to become a pilot, you

have to have that determination to be
able to fight through the adversity

that you're going to go through.

To become a pilot, you have
to have a bachelor's degree.

I. To be a pilot in the military, you have
to be a certain physical fitness level.

To become a pilot, you have to have
a certain amount of, I don't wanna

say iq, but you have to be fairly
intelligent and have an aptitude.

You have to have good
hand eye coordination.

You know, there's a whole laundry list of
things that you need to become a pilot.

And if you can't handle one person
telling you that you're never gonna

be a pilot, then quite frankly,
you're not gonna handle all the advers

adversity that you have coming forth

Jethro D. Jones: Mm-hmm.

Nathan Jones: And so that's why
I, you know, I would tell my

freshman self that, don't let
anybody tell you that you can't do

Jethro D. Jones: Mm-hmm.

Nathan Jones: because I
truly believe, you know, 90%.

Anybody can be anything that they want.

Anybody can do anything that they want.

Especially nowadays, we, we live in
the information era where you have

access to so many opportunities.

Everybody does.

And you just have to be able to fight to
get those opportunities and you have to be

able to persevere through that adversity.

And as a freshman in high school,
I wasn't willing to do that.

So I wasn't cut out to be a pilot.

Jethro D. Jones: Mm-hmm.

Nathan Jones: And so,

Jethro D. Jones: yeah, I mean, the
thing that is fascinating there is that.

One conversation with that recruiter
could have given you the hope

and the determination to do it,
or could have tested your medal.

And like both of those
things can happen, right?

Like let's say he said instead,
oh, you can totally do this.

I would love it if for you to be a pilot.

And him having confidence like
dad did when you were a kid, gave

you the confidence to continue
your mechanical skills and work

ethic all throughout your life.

And, and, and yet him
saying you can't do this.

Um, you know, your attitude at
that time was, well, screw you.

I'm not gonna even worry
about the military.

What's, what's your perspective on that
and, and how you think about things now?

Nathan Jones: Well, and, and
I want to be clear that I, I

don't blame him for anything.

He was playing his part, he
played his part in my life that

he needed to play at that time.

Where I made the mistake is that I
internalized that and I kept that to

myself and I didn't go tell the people
that were champions of Nathan what

Jethro D. Jones: Mm-hmm.

Nathan Jones: And I, I honestly, I don't
think I told anybody for years, you know,

that was always, that was always a story
of screw that guy and not a story of this

is what that guy told me and I need help.

Jethro D. Jones: Mm-hmm.

Nathan Jones: And I think if I'd have
gone to my dad or gone to anybody and told

them what happened, they would've said,
don't, you know, they would've told me,

don't let him tell you that you can't be a

Jethro D. Jones: Mm-hmm.

Nathan Jones: You know, they
might even have, have had the

foresight to say, he's just testing
you, he's testing your resolve.

You know, I was at a very
impressionable state in my life where

I could have gone one or two paths.

And I unfortunately
chose the path of defeat

Jethro D. Jones: Mm-hmm.

Path of

Nathan Jones: path of victory.

Jethro D. Jones: Yeah.

How interesting.

And, and that's such a, a
pivotal moment for everybody.

Your freshman year of like,
you're starting to make decisions

that will impact your life.

And you know that, that's a
good story to illustrate that.

I, I think the takeaway for me is going
to your support system, going to the

champions of you and saying this is
what happened and, and not hiding that

from them is, um, is really powerful.

Nathan Jones: Yeah.

And I, I don't know a lot of people
that can look at a defining moment in

their life like that where they had
such a clear path in either direction.

And I am really grateful that I have the
perspective that I have now of being able

to look back and see a moment in my life
where I made a decision that could have

taken my life in two complete opposite

Jethro D. Jones: Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

And the reality is that we have those
kind of decisions, regularly, and

little decisions, big decisions that
come into our life and, and the choices

that we make do impact the future.

So moving to the present and the
future, what reaching far out 10

years from now, what do you see
as your priorities and what your

life looks like 10 years from now?

Nathan Jones: Well, 10 years from now, I
want to own at least 10 rental properties.

I want to be retired from W2 work.

I would like to have a spouse,
but that's not, I don't feel

right making that a goal.

Especially with my issues of
hyper focusness that I have.

I don't think that that's an
appropriate place to put hyper focus

in finding a relationship, 'cause
that can get you into a lot of

trouble of choosing the wrong person.

So a desire of mine would
be to be married again.

But if that doesn't happen,
I'm, you know, still gonna be

happy and still feel fulfilled.

Jethro D. Jones: Mm-hmm.

Okay.

Anything else?

That those weren't big enough, like
be retired from W2 work when you're 48

and, and have rental properties that are
providing you an income for your life.

Like, those are certainly big.

Nathan Jones: Yeah, I don't, I don't
know that I've given many other

aspects of my life, much thought.

I think a lot of the smaller things
would be byproducts of the life

that I want to have at that point.

And so it's not really
a main focus of mine.

Jethro D. Jones: yeah.

Okay.

So why did you want to do this podcast?

Nathan Jones: Well I listened
to yours and Stacy's podcast

and I felt a strong prompting.

That I should reach out to you and,
show my desire to be on the podcast.

And I've really, my entire life, I've
really tried to focus on being open and

available to listening to promptings
when I receive them and acting on those.

And, you know, that's
how the Lord blesses us.

And I don't know what's going
to come of me sharing my story.

But the way I feel is that, you
know, only one person's life needs

to be changed by my words to,
for it to be completely worth it.

And that one person might
just only be myself.

Jethro D. Jones: Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

Well, it's the interesting thing is,
when you reached out and said you

wanted to be on it, I, we've had a rocky
relationship and haven't talked much.

And so I was thinking like, why
would he even want to, because

we don't even talk really.

And, and, and yet I felt like maybe this
is what I need to be doing, that maybe

this is how we rebuild our relationship.

I don't know either.

But as soon as you asked for
me, it was the same thing.

It was like, you need to have him on.

And, and I didn't know what it would
look like and to be honest, I was

nervous and uncomfortable about
it and didn't know what we would

talk about and how it would go.

And, and so I'm glad that we can do this
in person and, and be here talking because

I think that that, I think that it's been
really good so far and I appreciate it.

Anything else you want to add there?

Nathan Jones: Yeah, just the, you
know, I would agree with you that we've

had a rocky past and, you know, going
back to acting on those promptings.

I can't let my own pride or my own
feelings about you personally get in the

way of possibly helping other people.

Uh, because that's really where
my heart is, is to help others.

And you know, like I said, I, the
only person I might help might

be myself, and that's okay too.

And, but I know that my desires for
having this conversation with you and

being vulnerable with you and opening
up, is for the goal of, of possibly

helping other people who might be
struggling because I am still struggling.

I'm not through

it.

Jethro D. Jones: Mm-hmm.

Nathan Jones: And, I struggle every day
and some days are better than others.

But I guess,

I guess kind of one of the pet peeves
that I have about these types of

podcasts is they tend to focus on
people that sound like they have it

all together and have made it through
the other side and are successful.

And, you know, because those
are the stories that are

entertaining that are good.

You know, it's gonna take 10 years for
you guys to figure out the end of my story

and, I want to give hope to people that
are at that rock bottom that because, you

know, I'm barely above rock bottom now.

And even though I've only traveled
a minuscule amount from rock

bottom because my rock bottom
was so hard that it's still.

Miles and miles above it,

Jethro D. Jones: Even

Nathan Jones: it's very, it's
a very short distance and I

have a very long ways to go.

I think that there is hope out
there and coming from somebody that

is still suffering, that even in
suffering there can still be hope.

Jethro D. Jones: Yeah, I appreciate that.

and that is exactly why I want to do
this podcast is to help people see that.

my frustration is also you hear these
stories and it's oh, everything's perfect.

And 10 years from now, that's going to
be the end of this decade of your story,

but not the end of the whole story.

and you will,

you will have ups and downs
over the next 10 years.

It's impossible for anybody to
go through 10 years and not have

any trials or successes, right?

And next year at this time, you could
be totally jubilant and stoked and

excited about whatever's going on and
feel like you're in a great place.

And then two years later, you
could be at a new rock bottom.

And that's the nature of
what our lives are like.

And what I want to avoid is saying
everything's perfect for everybody.

All the time because
we know that it's not.

But a lot of times these, these
stories make it seem like that is the

case and we just know that it isn't.

So what are the things that you're
doing now, daily, weekly, monthly,

however you want to answer it, that
are helping you grow closer to Christ?

Nathan Jones: To be honest,
I'm not doing a lot.

That hasn't been a big focus of mine.

When I went through my divorce, the
church abandoned and it abandoned me

in a time where I needed them the most.

And again, I don't blame God for that.

I don't blame the gospel for that.

There are imperfect people in
the church and so I'm currently

not active, in going to church.

And I don't live all of the
principles that the gospel teaches.

But I don't think that
that makes me a bad person.

And I came to the conclusion of why
am I devoting my life to something,

to people on this earth that abandoned
me at the first sign of trouble?

At the first sign of struggle.

I've never asked the church for anything.

I've never asked the people
in the church for anything.

And, I was abandoned and I was left alone.

And so I had to rely on myself
and rely on my relationship with

the Lord, which I didn't do.

I

rely on my relationship with the Lord.

But that's all that I could do.

And so I recognized the Lord's blessings.

Now that I'm through it, I wasn't as
good at recognizing them in the past.

So I don't, I'm not currently working
on building my relationship with Christ,

and maybe that will change in the future.

I think if I move away from Utah, I
will probably try going back to church.

And I know that I don't need to
go back to church, in order to

build a relationship with Christ.

But I know that the Lord blesses
me today in my current state, and

I am surviving in my current state.

And so, you know, I. I don't
feel like now's the right time to

rock the boat in that direction.

Yeah.

Jethro D. Jones: So it's, it's really
interesting because in, in the church

we put so much emphasis on activity and,
and like showing up and doing stuff.

And I think one of the areas where we can
certainly improve is on focusing on our

individual relationship with Christ and,
and making that, making that the thing

and, and not, not just the pharisaical
parts of going to church every Sunday and.

And reading your scriptures.

And while I know those things are
important and they help me grow closer to

Christ, there are a lot of other things
we can do to grow closer to Christ, and

everybody is, is at their own place.

I read an interesting quote by President
Nelson today that said, essentially

the eternal truth doesn't change
because it is what is what it is, but

our relationship and understanding
of that truth is what changes.

And sometimes we understand it and, and
we know exactly what we need to do, and

other times we, we don't understand it.

And, and that's all right.

What's your perspective on that right now?

Nathan Jones: Well, after, after
just speaking that and hearing what

you have to say, I am building my
relationship with Jesus Christ because

I am recognizing his blessings.

Jethro D. Jones: Mm-hmm.

Nathan Jones: I still do have a
testimony and I'm not out murdering

people and stealing things and you
know, I'm not living the word of wisdom,

but that's not everything either.

Jethro D. Jones: Mm-hmm.

Nathan Jones: you know, even though.

I'm not doing everything
a hundred percent perfect.

The Lord still chooses to bless me.

Jethro D. Jones: Mm-hmm.

And, and what I think is so important
here is that you're still God's child.

You're still his son.

He still loves you.

And, and that's the important thing
that he's still blessing you and,

and that you are doing something to
build your relationship with him or

wanting to, I mean, otherwise you'd
be like, forget that, like you've said

multiple times, I'm not blaming God.

I see the blessings that he gives me.

And having gone through what
you've gone through where.

Where the church really, the, not the
church, but the people in the church

really did turn their back on you.

Like you said, the gospel didn't
turn back on you, but you were not

treated well by people and, and you
were put in impossible positions.

And, and yet God is still
finding a way to bless you.

And I believe personally that he
understands where each of us are and,

and totally gets why we're making the
decisions that we're making and is gonna

find a way to help us grow closer to him,
regardless of, of whatever is going on.

Does that, does that make sense?

Nathan Jones: Yeah.

And I think that the interesting thing
is, is that as we talk through this,

I answered the question from a Mormon

Jethro D. Jones: Mm-hmm.

Nathan Jones: And not from
my own personal perspective.

And I answered the question
in a way that I was raised.

Yeah.

And in the way that I went to church and.

Did all of those things.

And so, you know, I've, I've often
told myself that I'm not building

a relationship with Jesus Christ
because I didn't do it in the

quote unquote conventional way.

I didn't do it in the way that
they teach you in Sunday school.

As a deacon, as a teacher,
as a priest, you know?

And although those are all good
ways to build your relationship with

Jesus Christ, it's not the only way.

And that's what I just

Jethro D. Jones: Yeah.

So let's ask the question again.

What are you doing daily, weekly,
monthly, whatever to build

your relationship with Christ?

Nathan Jones: I am striving
to be my best self.

I try to be 1% better every single day.

Than I was yesterday.

I recognize the blessings in my life.

I recognize all the things that I have
are as a result of my testimony in

Jesus Christ and my belief that I can

get,

wherever it is that I'm going back again,

and I can find that purpose again.

Jethro D. Jones: Yeah.

that sounds very hopeful to me.

Like, you, like what's
the best way to say this?

I. It is like right now.

These, the primary answers are not
happening right now, but these other

things are happening and, right now
where you're at in your life that

feels like it's the right thing.

Is that a fair summary of that?

Nathan Jones: Yeah, and I don't
need the primary answers right now.

I've graduated from the primary answers.

I, the primary answers serve their
purpose to get me where I'm at today.

But they don't serve me anymore
because I was innocent in primary.

I hadn't gone through trials
that I've gone through now.

And so those primary answers are
for me personally, not gonna do it.

Jethro D. Jones: Mm-hmm.

Nathan Jones: It's not
gonna move the needle.

It's only gonna frustrate me.

It's only gonna put me back in that
it's gonna put me back as being a child.

Jethro D. Jones: Mm-hmm.

Nathan Jones: And I'm not a child anymore.

I have bigger things to accomplish.

I have bigger trials.

I have bigger successes.

You know, I kind of equate it to,
you know, when I was, when I was

12 years old, I had a paper route
that I, I think I made like 12

bucks a week or something like that.

And I had this, video game steering
wheel controller at Best Buy that

I wanted to buy, and it was $50.

And I saved and saved and saved.

It felt like months it took
me to save enough money.

And I went and rode my bike down to the
store with the money that I had saved and

paid an exact change for this controller.

And I had this, it was a big box, and
I carried it back on my bike and rode

all the way back home and set it up
and played it for probably two weeks

and probably never touched it again.

And.

The, the way that I relate to that
is that back then when I was in

primary, $50 was a lot of money.

Today I could sneeze and spend $50.

I just filled my truck up for $130

Jethro D. Jones: Yeah.

Nathan Jones: you know, and I'll
probably have to fill it back up

again when I get home, you know?

And so, the, the perspective is, is
that back then those primary answers

were a big deal and they were hard
to do and they seemed insurmountable.

And it took a lot of work to do
those primary answers to build your

relationship with Jesus Christ.

Now, not that they're, nothing,
50 bucks is still 50 bucks.

I'm not, I'm not gonna step over
50 bucks, but they don't make as

big of a difference in my life.

As a thousand dollars would.

Jethro D. Jones: Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

Yeah, that's a really
interesting perspective.

And and, and you mentioned earlier like
this is what the church teaches, that

you do these things and then, you know,
you'll get back to Heavenly Father.

And that's a very simplified primary
way of looking at it, but it takes.

So much more.

It takes enduring to the end, however,
that long end is, and that end is very

long for all of us, and we have to go
through a lot of trials to get there.

And, and I gained an insight on
those primary answers that, that

I haven't had before either.

So I appreciate you sharing that.

And like those primary answers
are things that I still do.

And yet I know that they are not the only
things that bring us closer to Christ.

And, and that I think is an
important thing to take away.

And, and to find where that, where
that works for each one of us.

'cause our relationship with Christ is
personal and it is, you know, salvation.

It doesn't matter what I.

Your parents' testimony is, or what
your parents' beliefs are, your

salvation is between you and the savior,
and, and that's all there is to it.

And, yeah.

What would you, what
would you add to that?

Nathan Jones: Just that, to kind of
bring it back to the analogy to add

on what you were saying, you know,
those little things do add up and,

you know, lots of $50 actions are
gonna add up to a thousand dollars.

Jethro D. Jones: Mm-hmm.

Nathan Jones: You know, and so
not to say that, you know, I don't

want to belittle those things.

But they're just not, I'm looking
for bigger purchases, so to speak.

And those smaller ones, I've got so much
ground to make up that those smaller ones

aren't gonna make a big enough difference.

Jethro D. Jones: Yeah.

Interesting.

So I'll be curious over the next
year what the bigger purchases are

that you're making spiritually.

What are the bigger things that
you're doing to grow closer Should of

Christ and, and what that looks like?

Because,

Like I see it, I mean, you said that
you wanna do this podcast 'cause

you got a spiritual prompting, like
listening to the spirit is key and not

even when it's uncomfortable and not
something you necessarily want to do.

Uh, you gotta, you gotta do it.

And you know that, that's not a, that's
not a, that's not a little $50 thing.

Right.

Um, that's, that's a
big, that's a big thing.

And, and I think that's, that's
really important to, to note.

Nathan Jones: And I, and I know your
question was rhetorical because we

don't know the answer of what those
thousand dollars things are, but you

know, I think that that's one of them.

And just like you said, being able to
listen to those promptings and, you know,

I don't always know all the answers.

Jethro D. Jones: Mm-hmm.

Nathan Jones: You know, I. Some of
the stuff that I've said in this

podcast I have never said before.

And I definitely know that
the Lord is guiding my mind.

'cause I'm not a very eloquent person.

I,

Jethro D. Jones: but
you've been very eloquent

Nathan Jones: and

I, that is not me.

Jethro D. Jones: This is,

Nathan Jones: this is not the
Nathan you get on a daily basis.

I usually can't say more than two
words without tripping over my tongue.

So,

I know that the things that I have
said today have, have been from the

Lord and the Spirit is guiding me.

And you know, I, I know that I do have
a relationship with Jesus Christ because

of the things that I have said today.

And I wouldn't, I wouldn't
have been able to.

Come up with the analogies and speak of
the things, some of these stories that

I told I haven't thought of in years.

And so, I think that's just a
testament right there that, you

know, maybe doing this podcast
and listening to this prompting is

one of those thousand dollar bets.

Jethro D. Jones: Yeah.

Well, I, I know that I've been praying,
ever since I decided to come down here

this week that we'd be able to have a
good discussion and that the spirit would

be here and that it'd be worthwhile.

So I thank you for that.

Yeah, I think that was
a great place to end.

So, this is the June episode and so this
will come out, I'm sorry, may episode.

So this'll come out, in May
and, be, be part of this.

Each may will release it again.

Nathan Jones: And I just wanna say
that to everybody that's listening,

you know, stick with it and hold Jethro
accountable to keep doing this because

this is a big commitment and each
guest is, has to make a big commitment.

Jethro has to make a big commitment to
do this, and, it's important that we hear

the end to these stories and, you know, I
don't believe podcasts are going anywhere.

And so they're here to stay.

There's no reason why
this can't continue on.

And so whatever way that you can support
Jethro and support each of the guests to

continue to come on and share their story.

And for Jethro to continue on
to bring these stories to us.

I think it's important that we hear
the end of every story and whether

it's just one person that you
connect with individually, that you

follow that all the way to the end.

Jethro D. Jones: Yeah, I appreciate
that and especially, when it's hard.

'cause some years are gonna be
really, really tough and we're not

gonna want to share what's going
on, but I do think that, that

we're gonna bless lives from it.

So thanks again Nathan.

Appreciate it.

Appreciate you wanting to do this
and listening to that prompting.

Nathan Jones: You're welcome.

Thank you.